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I am only home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I moved away for a job and it’s been a journey since then. When I met my family my brother pointed something out that made him teary eyed. There were names of deceased family members on the tables. I saw my aunts name, my mothers, grandfathers, grandmothers, and my cousin. I looked around the room as tears fell from my eyes. My brother saw me and hugged me. Although we are very different in many aspects we are the same. We moved over to the corner of the room and told me how our mom would be so proud of me. In his own words he actually expressed how much he loved me and missed me. This is something he would do when he was drunk. He didn’t have an ounce of alcohol in him. Naturally I cried as he spoke. I saw my brother in a different light. A part of me moved away for a job and part of me moved away from my family. In my eyes, growing up and still today I feel misunderstood. I want to unravel all the feelings we all feel in my writing. I want to write from different perspectives. I told my brother the other day I have three published books. In my head I spend my time writing wanting to leave something behind, my legacy. Perhaps on the blog this is where I am understood. But my brother for once understood me. He could see parts of me that are broken. He could see why I write from other perspectives. It’s easier for me to write from other points of view because I have some pieces I don’t want to look at. He could clearly see I just didn’t move away for a job.

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A classic vantage

Perceptions gauzed in antiques

Edges of photographs crinkle

Rustic but euphoric

Art history in sight

Words written from thick blood

Deep appreciation of jazz

Grasping the top notch pen

Refined and elegant

Dressed in sophistication

Adoring her exquisite tongue

Artistic in the hurricane soul

Tasting the vintage ink

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I wallow in the paraphrases and the ick of December. Wintery trees remind me of childhood and what use to be. Today the misery and solitude linger in the brisk air. I no longer grasp and hold onto affection. I took a walk and could see my reflection in the mangled trees. Branches scattered like my frozen thoughts. I stand still as depression settles deeper. No one wants to stand from my perspective. I despise the winter and hollow chill. No one cares. I use to crave to feel. I stare into the paragraphs and emptiness flows. No one cares. I don’t ask why I am alive. I ask when will you take me out of my misery?

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I’ve offered you a ship and you offer me a canoe

I’ve offered you a dozen roses and you offer me a dandelion

Sadness is a trigger

I’ve offered you a plate of everything and you offer me a morsel

I’ve offered you a road and you offer me a unpaved narrow path

Sadness is a trigger

I’ve offered you a tree of gold and you offer me a stained branch

I’ve offered you a notebook and you offer me a page

Sadness is a trigger

I’ve offered you barrel of ink and you offer me a ballpoint pen

When I’m gone my written words will say it all

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Foolish and dumb I crumble

Stuck in a wrecking atmosphere

Drifting out of consciousness

Wishes fall beneath my feet

I can’t move

A jolt of discomfort shatters within

Starring at discolored fragments

Crying romance bellows forgiveness

Dropping rights and wrongs

I can’t move

Dying to be understood in tired eyes

All I absorb are tears and rain

wearing a chain of animosity

through a howling river

I can’t move anymore

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I’m alone and sleeping in the cavern

I’m alone and sleeping in the gloom

And never do I cry

I’m alone and sleeping in the dusk

I’m alone and sleeping in the morning

And never do I bleed

I’m alone and sleeping in the twilight

I’m alone and sleeping in my coffin

And never do I pray

I’m alone and sleeping in the screams

I’m alone and sleeping in the silence

And never do I laugh

I’m alone and sleeping in the scars

I’m alone and sleeping in the obscurity

And never do I change

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Before you

castrate me

Let me sew up

your cesspool

I’d rather hear

nails on a

chalkboard than

your satanic moans

see me, I’m a seamstress–

needle and thread

put away those bitch teeth

aching in your head


Before you

piss in my cornflakes

Let me shatter

and shred your

fake Barbie doll world

that lives in

my iconic kingdom

‘neath plastic skin

vinegar rivers–

acetic acid,

bitter


Before you

scream in my

volcanic ears

Let me watch

you cry as the

reality sinks deep

knowing no one

gives a shit

about your existence


I refuse to placate–

I’m the real deal

this is all your fault

to hell with how you feel


Kindra M. Austin ~ Italic Parts 

Braeden Michaels – Non Italic Parts

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Inhaling a killer drug

Exhilaration tripped in a dumpster

Walking through glee in galoshes

Disgust flying like a bumble bee

Stuck in a repeating nightmare

Gloom stalks like a predator

A revolver full of hatred

Like a hammer slamming the nail

Reckless directions

A mind of inconsistencies

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Surrounded by the shrapnel

Six thousand reasons to fade

A service in your polite eyes

Ungrateful and dissatisfied

Watch me flip in rectangles for you

Continuing to give the minimum

Throwing me up against the brick

wall like a domino

As you never give me an inch

Counting the years one by one

Year 15 is the most critical one

Please read it again

I am just a provider and a dollar sign

Prove to me differently

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From bulldozing politics to

southern recipes

words glide

From the center of art history

to eye opening philosophy

words fly

From the core of love to

carburetors and steering wheels

words run

From the backbone of religion to

Roman orgies

words soar

From ancient reptiles to the

evolution of medicine

words are accented

From inward passions to the

hatred of war

words are like light

From the corner of your fears to

the offensive jokes

words scatter

Our universe is open for discussion

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Destroyed trust smeared on shingles

Ruins spread out over the dismantled carpet

Locked up gates surrounding decrepit doors

Components of ancient clocks in disgust

Splinters in necks of apathetic voices

Arms folding like a hand of cards

Negligence lingers in the crisp air

Carelessness hobbling on a narrow path

Monotony standing tall and shrewd

Incuriosity bounces like a dodgeball

Separation is coughed up like phlegm

Alienation is the divine appetite

Four mile road of still emptiness

Unfortunately many reside in a glance of reality

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A thousand mile per hour shove

Galant jab to the head

Like a heavyweight boxer

A face plant with spit to the floor

Pummeled by deception

Belted by the winds of lust

Aggression rises like a wave

An undercut to the ribs

Bombarded with questions

Chopped down with a sharp ax

Blasted by the electric shock

Beaten by a power house

A crack with a whip

Bitten by her savage guts

Tossed around like a rag doll

A defense shattered from the word go

Dominated like a slave

Articulate and clever

Owned by a blood sucking wench

Standing before rules and regulations

Slowly out growing demands

Up against the tightrope

Released a blow to the throat

Standing against the walls of reality

No longer living in fear

Arms raised in victory

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