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I’ve cried

a thousand tears

I’ve walked

a million miles

I’ve bled

mountains of blood

I’ve feared

the darkest tale

I’ve broken

shining hearts

I’ve stolen

innocent kisses

I’ve borrowed

pockets of time

I’ve craved

unconditional love

I’ve needed

shadows of desire

I’ve ached

for the endangered light

I’ve wanted

someone to hear me

I felt his presence

at Hallelujah Crossing

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You want but don’t ask

You need but don’t say a word

You expect but bite your tongue

You bitch but you don’t speak

You sigh but you don’t voice

You assume but aren’t direct

You strut but don’t walk

You scream but don’t converse

You talk down to than at

You just don’t get it

You are inside yourself

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I’m so fucking mad

About the day I had

She wasn’t glad

That I kissed Chad

I’m so freaking upset

About what I didn’t get

She was part of the bet

By Monday she will forget

I’m so undesirably distraught

About the day I lost

She was happy I got caught

My feelings can’t be bought

I’m so damn pissed

About the day I missed

She was in the A list

By the weekend I cut my wrist

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Don’t patronize

Don’t need your wild skies

Don’t want your rabid lies

Don’t wear that disguise

Just say goodbye

Don’t empathize

Don’t need your vibes

Don’t want your shoe size

Don’t sleep open wide

Just say goodbye

Don’t advise

Don’t need your old surprise

Don’t want your supplies

Don’t discard the gold prize

Just say goodbye

Don’t downsize

Don’t want your grey butterflies

Don’t need your mind baptized

Don’t reject the wise

Just say goodbye

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Shrugged diluted zest

Watered down affection

Still waiting…

Undiscovered territory

Finger tip formalities

Still waiting…

Nonexistent warmth

Empty terms of endearment

Still waiting…

Through the loop of emotions

Repetition overload

Still waiting…

on you

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Second best

Third place

A small unseen ribbon

Just a contestant

Carrying a chip on her shoulder

Tons of weight

Mediocre and average

Never enough

Depressed and lonely

Trying too hard

Desolate and desperate

In every decade

Feelings remain

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Brave and powerful!!

Kindra M. Austin's avatar

60s-woman-surrounded-by-champagne.jpg

Hi.

I’m Kindra—alcoholic.

It’s been thirsty seconds since my last drink, and

thirty nine years since my last confession.

I turn forty in December.

I’ve kissed a few girls,

dropped acid

once,

finger fucked myself eleventy hundred times, and

committed adultery with an Englishman

who won’t leave me alone—

my pussy is lined with gold.

I smoke pot with my dad,

who abhors alcohol.

Hi.

I’m Kindra.

My mother was an alcoholic.

I don’t know how many times she’d

finger fucked herself, or how many joints

she’d smoked while riding shot-gun with my dad.

I don’t if she’d ever dropped acid, or how many times

she might’ve wished she could confess to a god who’d

forsaken her.

All I know is that her life isn’t my problem—

I don’t have to make amends on her behalf.

My name is Kindra, and I battle against alcoholism.

I understand why I use…

View original post 21 more words

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Crinkled stars

Above all the broken hearts

Lost in direction

Hope is found

On the frozen ground

Losing its affection

The pieces are missing

Dandelions are kissing

My world is aching

I want what she has

I want it just as bad

I want something breathtaking

Could you play a melody

and add another verse

Could you play a guitar

to remove all the hurt

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I snarled at the green stuff on my plate

I stared at something I refused to taste

She looked at me and said “Eat those Brussel Sprouts!”

“Mom this is something I could live without!”

She stood there sternly and put her hands on her hips

“I better see those Brussel Sprouts meet your lips!”

I glared at those green balls and closed my eyes

I opened up my mouth and told one Brussel Sprout goodbye

I couldn’t believe that it was yummy!

I couldn’t believe that it was happy in my tummy!

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Low tolerance

for monumental errors

Imperative

to learn and evolve

Repetitive mistakes

cause blood to boil

and stirring silence

Humans are designed

to create blunders

If order and structure

are installed

Disarray

and inefficiencies

are minimal

Always striving

to improve

in all facades of life

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Pouring down overused mentalities

Change fumbling around

Pulling four quarters to insert

in the old fashioned jukebox

Numbers exchanged between

the mentalist and the statue

Between the shot glass

and the pint of a Irish stout

Scattered observations are slurred

Tip toeing through the cigar vapors

and the barking stilettos

Polluted with aggravation’s

and lipstick smudges on the glass

Empty barstools are playing violins

Loneliness waits for no one

Be careful where you drown

your heartache and sorrows

Look up at the glaring neon sign

The Bottomless crutch

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I find that life is all about perception. I can see a glass half empty or half full. I find that I can worry about what I can control and not worry about what I can’t. I find the light within the dark. I find beauty within the scars. I find stages, scratches, and atmosphere that I can’t see. I find the exits of them when I look back. I find that I use more of my logic than emotion to see clarity. I find that I remove the complexity to unravel the simplicity. I find the passion within my words. I find I have to own up to my mistakes. I find that I have to continue learning. I find that I have to continue to evolve. I find the joy in what I have and don’t complain about what I don’t have. I find that I didn’t forget where I came from. I find that I know where I’m going. Why? I know where I was and where I am today in every aspect of my life. It all starts with perception.

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Fluctuating economy

Stimulating Dow Jones

Buying and selling

In the eyes of the dollar sign

watching corporate America

Staring at bonds maturing

Building portfolios instead

of solid credibility

Complexity of convexity

Depreciating values

Staggering interest rates

Exploration of investments

Discussing volatile markets

Among a million decorated suits

Gripping risks and strapping

onto fixed incomes

Expecting returns on a rush

of thin adrenaline

Motivated by the number one root

of pure evil

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I turned to my side

I opened up my bumble bee eyes

I flew out of bed with so much joy

I am Blair the bumble bee boy

I’m anxious to take a bath

I’m excited to learn some math

I’m buzzing to learn the ABC’s

I’m delighted to learn some history

There are so many subjects I need to know

I want to make sure my vocabulary grows

I want to sting in all of this information

It’s important to me that I value my education

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Under the blazing sun

Sheldon weighed more than 2 tons

He appeared to like the heat

He loved the dirt on his feet

He seemed to be afraid of being wet

Liquid on his body he did not get

He saw others playing in the pond

Tamara, Cecil, Wilma and John

They waved and invited him in

Sheldon shook his head no

“I don’t want to swim”

He ignored them and refused to play

Many didn’t know what to say

Under Cecil’s breath the words rolled

off his tongue

“What hippopotamus doesn’t love water

in this brutal sun?”

“He is one preposterous hippopotamus.”

Sheldon heard this and it made him very upset

No one understood that he just didn’t want to get wet

One day Tamara sat next to Sheldon and told him she was sad

She wanted him to give it a chance and realize it’s not all that bad

Sheldon thought it through and crawled to the pond

Everyone’s eyes were on him as he sat next to John

They were all happy, excited, and elated to see Sheldon play

Cecil yelled out “Hip Hip Hooray!”

Sheldon did enjoy playing with his friends

He knew he would be in the pond again

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Charming pavement

Dazzling hopscotch

Skipping and jumping

Appreciation overload

Barely touching

the luminous ground

Dressed in affection

Block away from the

Everlasting sugar factory

A smile away from the

beaming playground

Sounds of belly ache

laughter and pride

Wishing the entire town

was abundant of love

and respecting humanity

Hoping and praying

the elated joy will expand

beyond this holy cement

Please check out my books!

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I never saw

the heart strings you pulled

I never saw

the lies you borrowed

I never saw

the bedroom disguise

I never saw

the contamination

I never saw

your buried intentions

I never saw

the light on the center stage

I never saw

the script you wrote

I never saw

the truth revealed

I never saw

love drip from your lips

I never saw

this moment ever arriving

I never saw

you imagining you could walk away

I never saw

you so terrified and scared

I never saw

you using me