Stale chips

fallen on a checkered pattern

linoleum floor

Empty pizza boxes

stacked on a granite

counter top

Blaring from the speakers

Duran Duran’s Greatest Hits

Reminiscing of old times

Lost arguments boil

to the rim and simmer down

Recognizing friendships

are made to last unlike

marriages and cars

Green pastures and mountain

eagle like views overtake

your narrow perception

on Coach Road in

the quiet town of 4000 humans

Only the stars become thick

and the air is gold in

the heart of Northern Ireland

Furious waves are dying. The gentleman in me is fading like a light. You carve out the tension and slowly I am denied. The more you take the less of me you receive.

You are not who you advertised. I remain calm as I construct a devious plan. I hold the wind in my hand. I have a defense. I made sure the world knows. Apocalyptic and cryptic I will speak. Repeating my words is not a option.

You use the word love but don’t show it. You use words you don’t express. The storm in this jungle has elevated to a hurricane. Patience is running thin. You love the image. You love the facade. You don’t love me. Say it. Admit it.

Beneath the clutter

and the discolored anxiety

the war between us continues

Engulfed by the

fractured promises

Gobbled up by the

untamed distance

Dwelling in the dusk

crawling through the

dark wild

Regurgitated phrases

of shades of love

Acknowledging the

hardened suffering

Stomaching the

patronizing goodbyes

Inhaling your desolate

and sinister perfume

Sucking and gulping

your mocking remarks

Withstanding your

arrogance and malicious core

Underneath the deceased

your stigma withers

I will never forget the day I moved back home . I will never forget the sentence that broke my heart. “You will never set the world on fire.” The chip on my shoulder just became bigger. Perhaps he is just a realist. Perhaps he saw his son average. I’m not saying he didn’t know how to love and care. I’m not saying he was a bad father but I would NEVER tell that to my son.

Little boy the message here is that you can be what you want to be. You are going to make choices I probably won’t agree with at the moment but the belief in you won’t disappear. I want to do something that my father didn’t do, just understand you. Please don’t be afraid to open up. I don’t want to be a critical spirit like him and put your thoughts under a microscope. Your father is a writer at heart and doesn’t have support from those who I thought would support. I stand alone. You will never stand alone.

I’ve cried

a thousand tears

I’ve walked

a million miles

I’ve bled

mountains of blood

I’ve feared

the darkest tale

I’ve broken

shining hearts

I’ve stolen

innocent kisses

I’ve borrowed

pockets of time

I’ve craved

unconditional love

I’ve needed

shadows of desire

I’ve ached

for the endangered light

I’ve wanted

someone to hear me

I felt his presence

at Hallelujah Crossing

You want but don’t ask

You need but don’t say a word

You expect but bite your tongue

You bitch but you don’t speak

You sigh but you don’t voice

You assume but aren’t direct

You strut but don’t walk

You scream but don’t converse

You talk down to than at

You just don’t get it

You are inside yourself

Don’t patronize

Don’t need your wild skies

Don’t want your rabid lies

Don’t wear that disguise

Just say goodbye

Don’t empathize

Don’t need your vibes

Don’t want your shoe size

Don’t sleep open wide

Just say goodbye

Don’t advise

Don’t need your old surprise

Don’t want your supplies

Don’t discard the gold prize

Just say goodbye

Don’t downsize

Don’t want your grey butterflies

Don’t need your mind baptized

Don’t reject the wise

Just say goodbye

Shrugged diluted zest

Watered down affection

Still waiting…

Undiscovered territory

Finger tip formalities

Still waiting…

Nonexistent warmth

Empty terms of endearment

Still waiting…

Through the loop of emotions

Repetition overload

Still waiting…

on you

Second best

Third place

A small unseen ribbon

Just a contestant

Carrying a chip on her shoulder

Tons of weight

Mediocre and average

Never enough

Depressed and lonely

Trying too hard

Desolate and desperate

In every decade

Feelings remain

Crinkled stars

Above all the broken hearts

Lost in direction

Hope is found

On the frozen ground

Losing its affection

The pieces are missing

Dandelions are kissing

My world is aching

I want what she has

I want it just as bad

I want something breathtaking

Could you play a melody

and add another verse

Could you play a guitar

to remove all the hurt

I snarled at the green stuff on my plate

I stared at something I refused to taste

She looked at me and said “Eat those Brussel Sprouts!”

“Mom this is something I could live without!”

She stood there sternly and put her hands on her hips

“I better see those Brussel Sprouts meet your lips!”

I glared at those green balls and closed my eyes

I opened up my mouth and told one Brussel Sprout goodbye

I couldn’t believe that it was yummy!

I couldn’t believe that it was happy in my tummy!

Low tolerance

for monumental errors

Imperative

to learn and evolve

Repetitive mistakes

cause blood to boil

and stirring silence

Humans are designed

to create blunders

If order and structure

are installed

Disarray

and inefficiencies

are minimal

Always striving

to improve

in all facades of life

I find that life is all about perception. I can see a glass half empty or half full. I find that I can worry about what I can control and not worry about what I can’t. I find the light within the dark. I find beauty within the scars. I find stages, scratches, and atmosphere that I can’t see. I find the exits of them when I look back. I find that I use more of my logic than emotion to see clarity. I find that I remove the complexity to unravel the simplicity. I find the passion within my words. I find I have to own up to my mistakes. I find that I have to continue learning. I find that I have to continue to evolve. I find the joy in what I have and don’t complain about what I don’t have. I find that I didn’t forget where I came from. I find that I know where I’m going. Why? I know where I was and where I am today in every aspect of my life. It all starts with perception.

Fluctuating economy

Stimulating Dow Jones

Buying and selling

In the eyes of the dollar sign

watching corporate America

Staring at bonds maturing

Building portfolios instead

of solid credibility

Complexity of convexity

Depreciating values

Staggering interest rates

Exploration of investments

Discussing volatile markets

Among a million decorated suits

Gripping risks and strapping

onto fixed incomes

Expecting returns on a rush

of thin adrenaline

Motivated by the number one root

of pure evil

I never saw

the heart strings you pulled

I never saw

the lies you borrowed

I never saw

the bedroom disguise

I never saw

the contamination

I never saw

your buried intentions

I never saw

the light on the center stage

I never saw

the script you wrote

I never saw

the truth revealed

I never saw

love drip from your lips

I never saw

this moment ever arriving

I never saw

you imagining you could walk away

I never saw

you so terrified and scared

I never saw

you using me

I feel worthless

No shine

Others are silver

I’m made up of copper

Very little value

Laying in cars

Sleeping on nightstands

A hundred of me

complete a dollar

Often hear “Keep it”

when change is created

I’m not wanted or valued

I feel worthless

One cent says it all


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