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Should I care enough

to acknowledge your existence

Do I care enough

to reply back to your nonsense

Should I care enough

to slap that grin off your devious face

Do I care enough

to raise my palm toward an empty man

Should I care enough

to not leave you penniless

Do I care enough

to take you to court

Should I care enough

to walk away from you

Do I care enough

about myself to make a decision

Should I care enough

about myself to leave you

*Marie had asked me to use this title for a poem.

****

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So much anger

So much bottled

So much frustration

So much repeating

So much carelessness

So much distance

So much ignoring

So much venom

So much contained

So much lost

So much wasted

So much avoiding

So much gone

So much feared

So much vile

So much excrement

So much confusion

So much

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I can’t tell

If I’m lost

or if I’m just not found

I can’t tell

If I’m confused

or if I’m in a fog

I can’t tell

If I’m the enigma

or if I’m missing pieces

I can’t tell

If I’m scared of myself

or just want to be hidden

I can’t tell

If I’m in a movie

or my reality is dramatic

I can’t tell

if I’m an introvert

or I just enjoy being alone

I can’t tell

if I want to live

or if I’m content being alive

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I’m a blurry train wreck
I’m the bottom of a pit
I’m the black ice in the winter
I’m the darkest rain cloud
I’m the sting from the bee
I’m a fading car crash
I’m the dust on the ground
I’m the tears in my lonely eyes
I’m a distant social disease
I’m the monster under my bed
I’m the skeleton in my closet
I’m the spider creating my own web
I’m the tarantula in the desert
I’m the demon in my soul

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I scratched my itch

I packed my bags

I didn’t laugh

I couldn’t say a word

They were already said

I held in the jungle

I swallowed my confusion

I didn’t see the condition

I couldn’t see the barriers

They were already built

I walked away from the illusion

I quietly closed the door

I saw a new found path

They were always there

I just ignored them

****

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Your deepest scars

don’t define who you are

Your deepest scars

walk away from the sunset

Your deepest scars

don’t stare into the light

Your deepest scars

hide behind the plum tree

Your deepest scars

don’t scream at the rage

Your deepest scars

have burnt everlasting edges

Your deepest scars

don’t speak in front of millions

Your deepest scars

never fade in the chapter

Your deepest scars

don’t disappear in the journey

Your deepest scars

shape your colorful soul

Your deepest scars

make you gorgeous

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Clarity settles around my ankles

Shackles tightly circling my wrists

A opaque warrant for the end

In arial font harshly awakens

crawling dismembered spiders

around my distant coffin

No eulogy or words will be spoken

Just an empty room of formalities

Guests sitting out of obligation

As time passes as I’m alive

Leave me in the closet with

the laughing faded skeleton

Playing chess with my demons

No tears for the desolate child within

Walk away from my numb ghost

Shaking hands with apathy

Disheartened by those who make

false claims and promises

Leave me abandoned in the dusk

****

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You gave me

a ray of sunshine to view humanity

You gave me

the glue to put my shell together

You gave me

a hand to hold the weight on my shoulders

You gave me

dripping sincerity and truth

You gave me

the candle to hold the endangered flame

You gave me

a sense of puzzling wonder

You gave me

a band aid to disguise the pain

You gave me

a cold cloth to cleanse the self worth