Walking Paradox

She will care for thirty seconds
and write a novella of accusations
She will pine for your sensitive hands
and cry a stream of tears from a distance
She will crave hours of chit chat
and stare at grim skeletons in silence
She will dance and twirl in the garden
and be embarrassed of her defects in loneliness

“In my view, I was raped by his alluring
vocabulary, molested by his wit and probed
by his twinkling generosity. He turned me into a walking paradox.”

And the mystery within her dwells
And the inconsistency smears her delusions
And the absurdity fills her weary lungs
And the enigma is like condensation
And the anomaly marches within her mind

She will walk with poise and diligence
and shout with obscenities doused in wildfire
She will cherish the remains and residue
and toss her pieces she loathes in the garbage
She will wrap herself up in sanitized anxiety
and chuck courage up against the wall
She will run with convictions in her fist
and ignore the principles that define her

And the secrecy within her is desolate
And the conundrum drips frustration
And the perplexity drains her focus
And the complications steer her vision
And the rattle stumbles within her mind

“In my perspective, I was poisoned by his compliments, fondled by his intellect and abused by his sincere confidence. He turned me into a walking paradox.”

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Foolish and dumb I crumble

Stuck in a wrecking atmosphere

Drifting out of consciousness

Wishes fall beneath my feet

I can’t move

A jolt of discomfort shatters within

Starring at discolored fragments

Crying romance bellows forgiveness

Dropping rights and wrongs

I can’t move

Dying to be understood in tired eyes

All I absorb are tears and rain

wearing a chain of animosity

through a howling river

I can’t move anymore

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No verses can disguise

the barbwire truth

Furious on the inside

Depression settles like dust

A intact plan merges

Ignoring my needs

Methodical and analytical

Reread the chorus

Every day was an opportunity

you threw away to show me

Nothing will prepare you

for what I’m about to do….

From the decorated tricks

to the lustful and tart candy

The crimson plasma spreads

like a tormented disorder

Calm like a grenade

Held by a tremulous clown

Waving his God smack hand

Tossing hundred dollar bills

to purchase genocidal vodka

Tick tock tick tock

Inside the gray rats nest

Morbid clocks humming the

melody of Enter Sandman

The crack of the numb skull

opens up and echos rape

Recognizing the basket case

Jolted and ramshackle

Hunger for disease thickens

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Ribs shook

Teeth chattered

A swig of Alligator Juice

Testing intestinal fortitude

Crying Esophagus

Liquid to soothe the deserted soul

Reviving the hostile lungs

Defining the edges and nerves

Overtaken by the emptiness

As he fills his stomach

with acidic Alligator Juice

I’m so fucking mad

About the day I had

She wasn’t glad

That I kissed Chad

I’m so freaking upset

About what I didn’t get

She was part of the bet

By Monday she will forget

I’m so undesirably distraught

About the day I lost

She was happy I got caught

My feelings can’t be bought

I’m so damn pissed

About the day I missed

She was in the A list

By the weekend I cut my wrist

So much anger

So much bottled

So much frustration

So much repeating

So much carelessness

So much distance

So much ignoring

So much venom

So much contained

So much lost

So much wasted

So much avoiding

So much gone

So much feared

So much vile

So much excrement

So much confusion

So much

Overflowing drops of sadness

crash the grounds of reality

Waves of anger and frustration

soar through every vein

Camouflaging the numbness

wakens the frozen memories

Slowly losing the crack of a smile

shades of grey and black entwine

A living ghost I am, alone—

all that is left of you

I talk in my sleep when I’m wide awake

In limbo I reach out to you,

my anchor in the fog

Overflowing mourning bellows

shattering the reflection in the mirror

Staring into the depths of your selfishness

stirring the darkest hurricanes

Consuming prescriptions of self-hatred

scream at your tarnished soul

Slowly your existence forever fades

whirlwinds of chaos downpour into your loved ones

A living ghost I am, alone—

evidence of your life

I keep together with special effects

And all I want is to touch you,

my anchor in the fog

Overflowing rain of melancholy

drip into the silence of your grave

Crumbled walls are now at your feet

as clouds hang over your torn shadow

Dwelling into your perfectionism

dismantles your steel cage

Slowly your wishes become true

Your actions speak a thousand poems

than the words you spoke alive

A living ghost I am no more—

I’ll breathe for me and you

Laugh for me and you, love for me and you

But still, I want to hold you tight,

my anchor in the fog

B.M. – Non italics parts

K.A – Italic Part

Collaboration of Braeden Michaels & Kindra M. Austin


I enjoyed collaborating with Kindra. It was easy. Her writing is real, raw, and honest to the core. Check out her blog.

Clarity settles around my ankles

Shackles tightly circling my wrists

A opaque warrant for the end

In arial font harshly awakens

crawling dismembered spiders

around my distant coffin

No eulogy or words will be spoken

Just an empty room of formalities

Guests sitting out of obligation

As time passes as I’m alive

Leave me in the closet with

the laughing faded skeleton

Playing chess with my demons

No tears for the desolate child within

Walk away from my numb ghost

Shaking hands with apathy

Disheartened by those who make

false claims and promises

Leave me abandoned in the dusk


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