Stella

Stuck in your slimy trail

Stumbling I my own broken dream

In a trance of treachery

Fraud flung like 52 card pickup

Double and triple and quadruple dealing fuckery

Your cunning and manipulative nature is driven by great ignorance

This trail is a prison in your superstar circus

This splinter in your minds eye is festering

And boiling into a third eye

A star stapled to my breast

Fantastic ruses in spectacular motion

Successful subterfuge bravo bravo

Its all appreciated

Thank you thank you

I’ll add it to my many scars

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A few months had passed and everything appeared to be normal until a early Sunday morning. I woke up to the sound of my mother crying. I laid there in bed and it sounded like she was on the phone. It was barely seven in the morning and Nathan was passed out cold. I never heard her cry like that. It made me nervous. It was then that I saw the knob turn on my door and saw my mother wiping her tears away. I closed my eyes immediately and she sat on the bed. She placed her hand on my face and softly said my name. I opened them up and my mom was frozen.

“Ben I have some bad news.”

She stopped right there. She struggled to continue crying. It struck a nerve in my ten year old body. I could see she was in so much pain emotionally. I could see it at the age of ten. I begin to cry and felt my world was about to change in a drastic way.

“Ben your father was in a car accident and he didn’t make it.

I sobbed just as much as my mother. Nathan was still sound asleep. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How am I suppose to go on without my Dad? I was so mad. I was so angry inside. I sat up and hugged my mom for life. It was hard to believe that I would never see my father. My mom left the room to make us breakfast and I had to tell my brother. I woke him up and told him. He didn’t cry, he just looked at me.

“So Dad won’t ever come home?”

“No.”

“He was going to fix my bike. Ben who is going to fix it?”

I didn’t have an answer for him and was confused that he didn’t show any emotion. Our Dad isn’t here and all he could do is think about his bike. I didn’t get it. How can he not show any emotion?

It was a gloomy Sunday. My mom called everyone she knew to tell them. She was in tears all day on the phone. I walked around my house imagining my Dad not being here in the house anymore. No more playing football. No more car rides. No more wrestling. Something came over me as I walked around my house. I ran to my room and grabbed that notebook.

(1st Verse)

You can scream at the top of your lungs,
You can curse my name a million times.
Nothing you will ever say will undo what is already done,
So tell me why we can’t put this all behind?
Take a sip of courage and swallow that pill of redemption.
Everything I do, everything I say, doesn’t seem to get your attention.

Chorus:

You can shake your head,
Let your face get all red,
Call me every name in the book.
You can run the other way,
With very little to say,
And just let me off the hook.
Either way it’s breaking us apart,
You don’t seem to care to leave tears in the dark.

(2nd Verse)

You can bitch up a storm about all the small things,
You can dig that knife deep in my back.
You seem to know how to make that burn sting,
You seem to drift into the shadows of the past.
Take a sip of courage and swallow that pill of redemption.
Everything I do, everything I say, doesn’t seem to get your attention.

Bridge:

You know it’s time to move on when your words don’t mean a damn,
You know it’s time to move on when I can see you don’t love me for who I am.
You know it’s time to move on when all you do is cry,
You know it’s time to move on when there is nothing left inside.

Chorus:

You can shake your head,
Let your face get all red,
Call me every name in the book.
You can run the other way,
With very little to say,
And just let me off the hook.
Either way it’s breaking us apart,
You don’t seem to care to leave tears in the dark.

Unsettling analytics

Dispersed integers

Abrupt and chilling data

Between facts and information

Controlling emotions

Stepping on to Overthink drive

Distinct calculations

Business minds open

Fearful of making the “wrong”

and fateful decisions

Staring into Venn Diagrams

and Ghant charts

Sleeping beside project management

and waking up to “planning”

Spontaneity is two streets over

On this road it must be on a calendar

Crawling like a snail

Watching the hour glass

Staring at paint dry

on the curbside

Playing in the sandbox

Mesmerized by the fallen

rainbows and stardust

Absorbing every minute

Not one second is rushed

Pixels illuminate

Enhanced motions

Days inhaling weeks

Weeks serenading months

Smiling leaves dance

Rivers singing in harmony

Families at dinner tables

Time is a speck

Life is fully embraced

****

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~ Braeden Michaels