Woke up in the pitch black
Staring at the reality
Shackled with no hope
Barely crawling
Trying to move my tired body

Sounds of the sizzle
Shuffling of feet
Jameson walked down stairs
Scrambled eggs and bacon
glancing at my swollen eyes

“I’m sorry to hear about your father.”
A phrase that swam in my mind
over and over as I scarfed down grub
No time for drops of tears
No time for sadness
“I can’t stay in these clothes.”

Jameson paced like a rat
Imprints in his rattled mind
Struck a lonely frozen nerve
Nervousness and sweat blend
“I will get you clothes.”

Forgotten details befuddled him
Inside of me snickered
Ignited a circle of thoughts
Finally seeing a shadow
Outsmart the predator

I am a genius

Kidnapping day

I know where you park

your blatant shiny car

at your prestigious job

As you work your long day

Someone will be tampering

with your brakes

I paid the individual a few

dollars to perform this duty

in cash so there is no history

No I didn’t withdraw this

money from my account

I’m too damn smart

I’m very anxious when you start

your “I’m a rich bastard” car

I know the route you take home

You will head to the highway

and hopefully you will press

your foot on the brakes going

at least sixty miles per hour

I pray to my heavens that you

smash that car and you fly

through the windshield

Your body will be all over the

highway in bits as others

run you over and over

I want to make sure that there

is no body to be buried

No proof of crime

No body in a casket

for your wife to see

She toyed with my emotions
She told me I was cute
She played with my mind
She crawled inside my head

And she spit me out

She craved what she didn’t get
She held the fairy dust
She was bold and controlling
She gripped onto the wicked fire

And she spit me out

She let go once she saw the steam
She used and abused me
She was manipulative and coy
She slithered too far in

And she spit me out

She swallowed too much
She took what she wanted
She was relentless and fierce
She was materialistic and vain

And she spit me out

She was a sensual liquid
She sprinkled lust over my head
She was a dripping eclipse
She opened up the obscene book

And she spit me out

I miss my boyfriend
I miss his hands and lips
I miss his comfort
I miss his warmth

I miss everything I had
I don’t see a way out
All I see is dark and no hope
I miss my life so much

Huffing and puffing
A shadow of a rectangle
Carrying down a mattress
“You will need your rest.”

Tosses blankets on me
Moves the mattress toward me
“Shackles should reach”
I lay on the mattress in distress

He shuffles through boxes
As if he was browsing through
lost and faded memories
“You look like her”

Wiped off the dust of the frame
Handed me the photograph
A woman standing outside this house
“Who is this?”

No response
Words escaped him
Tired and Distraught
Something clicked

“Aren’t you Jameson?”
He turned his head at me
“Yes I am.”
“So you destroyed my parents marriage?”

Nobody told your father to gamble
Nobody told your mom to be a slut
Nobody told your father to throw away money
Nobody told your mom to be easy
Nobody told your father to borrow money
Nobody told your mom to stay married to a liar
Nobody told your father to stay out at all hours
Nobody told your mom to be in a fake marriage
Nobody told your father to stop paying me

Be careful what you say
Be careful what you accuse
Be careful what you imply
Be careful what you ask

On the glass surface
A marriage was the mirage
Two Perfect jobs
He was the Industrial Engineer
She was the Professor

Dollars always filling pockets
Purchasing boats
Constantly traveling
Appearing to work late

Slowly becoming lonely
Innocent flirts
Grazing and rubs
Touching hands
Turned one night
into a deep sea of lust
I become a routine
I become fixated

His gambling debts get higher
Out of hand and order
I become a bank
I become demanding
Week after week
Month after month

A long delightful affair
They become distant
They become desperate
Seconds after seconds
Minutes after minutes
I become irritated
I become a wrecking machine

Hours after hours
Days after days
She pulls away
She wants to stop
Week after week
Month after month

Glass surface has a crack
Reality settles like dust
Clarity runs fast as light
He stops payments
He stops communicating

He attempts to be polite
I demand my money
I scream “I will tell her”
Sternly he stands
“You screwed my wife.”

You didn’t appreciate her
You didn’t love her
I gave her something
you couldn’t give
All night long

Gambling was your priority
Not your wife
Hands placed in pockets
Slowly walking away
“You owe me my money.”
“You fucked my wife.”

Leave us alone
“I may have fucked your wife
But you fucked with the
wrong person.”

Brisk concrete
Tears don’t stop
Scared as Hell
Finally see eyes
Covered face
Dressed in black

Hands me a plate
With a thermos
Maybe there’s fluid
Dry throat
Watching my moves
Take a sip

Never have I appreciated
water so much
“Why a thermos?”
No response
Mountain of food
Pork chops, mash potatoes,
Macaroni and cheese,
Broccoli and cauliflower

Watching my moves
Shoveled and devoured
Removed the ski mask
“Do you remember me?”
Frozen in ice
Memory in a fog
“You are prettier than your Mom.”
A statement that made me ill
“Hope you aren’t dumb as your father.”
A statement that made me nausea

Face didn’t ring a bell
But the voice hit the red alarm
I knew it, I knew it
Vivid and clear
Trying to attach a name

“My great grandmother once lived here.”
Every word he spoke
Rattled my spine
Pinched a nerve
He knelt down
Looked into my eyes
Terrified and catatonic

“You will never leave here.”
My skin crawled with fright
“No one knows about
Blackout Hill.”
Tears flooded
“Nothing you receive
will be made of glass.
You can break it and
use it as a weapon.
I will always outsmart you
despite you being a “A” student.”

I knew what time he left
I knew when she’d be sleeping
I knew what room she slept in
I knew she was a “A” student

And I knew too much

I knew she loved Shaw a lot
I knew his wife would be gone
I knew when she’d be back
I knew his wife used to dream about me

And I knew too much

I knew she use to want me
I knew every room in the house
I knew where his gun was
I knew that she didn’t love him anymore

And I knew too much

I knew he would never find her
I knew if I took her he wouldn’t suspect me
I knew it had been five years since we talked
I knew everything about him

And I knew too much

I knew everything about his family
I knew he had a gambling problem
I knew what he loved the most
I knew what he didn’t know

And I knew I owned him

Never wake a panther
Never turn the screw
Never manipulate me
Never toy with my ego
Never sell myself short

Never will I lend you money
Never leave your daughter alone
Never leave your door open
Never leave your keys in the car
Never be so naive

Never talk behind my back
Never have sex with my wife
Never tell me where your gun is
Never show me the sharpest knife
Never show me your cards

Never spill the blood
Never turn your back on me
Never spread rumors
Never make a critical bet you can’t pay
Never disregard your debt

Never betray your best friend
Never doubt my words
Never cross my path
Never walk from my shadow
Never tell me your secrets

Seconds passing
Minutes standing still
Speechless under the noise
Pitter patter of footsteps

A December day etched
Thirst and hunger clench
Six inches of snow
Slightly above ten degrees

Waiting for him to punish me
For something I don’t know
Trying to shape the pupils
Never thought I’d be in shackles

Darker and darker
Colder and colder
Starving and thirsty
What harm did I do to him

Constantly wondering
Wondering if I will wake up
Will I see tomorrow
Will I see the morning light

No sense of time
Will I see my boyfriend
Will I see my father
Will I ever see anyone

Shivering thru the animosity
Like a dungeon with a stench
A fourteen inch rustic door
No remorse or guilt resides
Disappeared in the thick of the night
Tip toeing in the burning fog
Covering her tiny mouth
Eyes wide as tears flood in fear
Disturbed by her resentment
A creeping shadow stands callous

Locking her in the musky trunk
Mystic drive to Blackout Hill
A lost and unknown address
Between crumbled mountains
Surrounded by jagged and lonely trees
A splash of maroon stains
As she attempts to claw away
Carried like a new born baby
in a pitch black bag
Throwing her down like a sack

Gazing up at the scene
Fumbling thru the grudge
Licking a sense of familiarity
Slightly a recognizable face
Face peeks out of the hole
Replaying the anxiety
Cold sweat drips on her frigid skin
Confused in a cellar
Trapped in a vault
Laying on the frozen bedrock