For I am the gust in this brilliant joy For I am the hope in these disorientated chapters For I am the trembling suspicion in the corner For I am the optimism in your stained pupils
And the fascination pierces in the burgundy sky
For I am the prosperity in this shattered mirror For I am the wisdom you have never heard For I am the glare in the whispering blur For I am the salt in your four seasons
And the enchantment glows in the burgundy sky
For I am the zest in your shaky bridges For I am the rainbow in your weeping azure For I am the shine in your rusty screams For I am the fear in your gripping wishes
And the artistry blooms in the burgundy sky
For I am the peace in your self destruction For I am the grit in your sandcastle For I am the treasure you haven’t touched For I am the daydream in your hallucinations
Slithers like a charcoal sidewinder French accent is a wicked aphrodisiac Natural head turner, twinkling nighthawk strutting her curves at the Foxglove Tavern A logical spinning conversationalist twirling liberal storyteller with satin lips dogs with saliva disregard the translation centered on the painted mask and surface neglecting and overlooking her education refusing to sift through her elegant layers ignoring her quiet pulsating sensitivity discounting her popular and beloved color suits craving sin with childish innuendos speaking bland three dollar pick up lines meaningless chatter leading to nothing outsmarting the tacky salesman pitch self respect higher than a skyscraper hidden goals remain underneath patience lingering in her queen size bed two hands on the steering wheel of self love
Sweet Ophelia, Out of morbid curiosity Are your lingering shadows in disbelief Bitter tongue bound and burned The scent of your scars never learned
Sweet Ophelia, Between your warmth and generosity How can you be in love with me Sadness is a hummingbird in my eyes Broken down with armor in disguise
“She deserves more than I could ever give, But she clenches on to me as long as we both shall live, Neither of us know what we deserve, With her by my side, I can see my worth”
Sweet Ophelia, Inside this snowflake feel the monstrosity Are you afraid I will be the one to leave Fear is the calm wrapped around my bones Whispering “you are my center and my home”
Sweet Ophelia, Of all the treasures and the uncertainty Faith is trusting in the power of what you can’t see How can you love a man who doesn’t love himself For I have forgiven the stars, nothing else
“She deserves more than I could ever give, But she clenches on to me as long as we both shall live, Neither of us know what we deserve, With her by my side, I can see my worth”
(1st Verse) I want you to be the rain in my Indian summer I want you to be my queen of magic under the covers I want you to be the sun on my darkest day I want you to be my symphony on center stage I want you to be my candlelight in the dark I want you to be the butterflies circling around my heart
CHORUS Come on baby, I know you can feel it too I can see my life with you Come on baby, I want to feel you in my arms I want to wake up knowing you are my lucky charm
(2nd Verse) I want you to be the light breeze in my storms I want you to be my blanket to keep me warm I want you to be my laughter when I want to cry I want you to be my forever engraved in the sky I want you to be my shining sliver wings I want you to be my everything
Bridge: I can see us walking hand in hand I can see you being my woman and me your man I can feel something growing stronger each day I just want to love you in every single way Come on baby, I know you feel the same
(1st Verse) I’m an exhausted lover on the inside A part of me just needs a friend I need something that I can truly feel There is a part of me that can no longer pretend I need someone that can care and not just take I need someone that can’t be fake
CHORUS: I’m tired of building shit on quicksand I’m tired of treading water, can you reach out your hand I’m tired of falling and hitting face first into the ground I’m tired of screaming on the inside where no one can hear a sound And you know who you are Just like me, I’m crying within these invisible scars
(2nd Verse) I’m a broken man who needs some understanding A part of me needs someone like myself I need something that I know is real There is a part of me that can admit needs some help I need someone that can care and can give I need someone that knows how to live
CHORUS
And I can hear those words loud and clear And I know deep inside you have the same fears And you know who you are And I can feel the doubt and danger And I know we are distant strangers And you know who you are And I’m writing verses with you in my head And I’m like you, lonely in this bed And you know who you are
I didn’t advertise this and I should have when I released this book, the majority of poems are personal. This collection was written over a long period of time. Through out my life I’ve used writing poetry as an outlet because I had no one to turn to. My mother passed away at a young age, 48, due to health issues. I grew up watching her being sick but take it like a champion. She was one of the first people to have had a liver transplant. Due to medicine, the medicine at the present time killed her kidneys. Because of this, I struggle with intimacy in many ways. My father was an alcoholic and in my twenties I married one. In my thirties I had outgrown my ex wife and wanted more in life as she digressed. She made the choice to say she didn’t have a problem when she did. Long story short, she killed herself after our divorce and left her daughter behind. I can admit I was not a perfect husband, I did some things I shouldn’t have done.
I went back to school to improve myself while trying to work. During that time, I met the woman I eventually married – a strong but vibrant woman. I fell in love with her ocean blue eyes and her gentle spirit. She works in the medical field to save lives and commend her for that. I now have a four year old son that looks up to me and strive to be a better person.
I want my writing to serve several purposes. I want people to look inward and identity their own destructive patterns that prevent them from any form of growth. Perhaps if you can recognize them, you can see them in others. I think most answers that we seek are within ourselves. We do need help from time time, but essentially it starts with being honest with yourself. But we struggle to look at ourselves because it’s hard.
Although I’ve started out writing from a personal place, I trained myself to write from different perspectives by observing humanity. I’ve also learned to write just for fun, for me, and to challenge myself to approach the writing process from a technical stand point.
I often use humor and sometimes am inappropriate at times because I don’t want people to know the real me because the real fear is that they will leave me. Making and maintaining friendships is a challenge. I don’t have any male friends that I do things with and to some degree I am ok with it for various reasons. I go by the motto “a pen and a piece of paper won’t leave me like people.”
I am a work in progress like everyone else. Today was the day I felt the need to share my a part of my story.
I took vows to be mistaken and unwanted I took vows to be just a carcass I took vows to feel the treacherous winds I took vows to someone that is clueless I took vows to someone that can’t read between the lines I took vows to feel the written script I took vows to someone that can’t hear my words I took vows to talk to myself I took vows to someone that just doesn’t listen I took vows to someone that does the bare minimum I took vows to be a shadow and a check book I took vows when I was someone else I took vows to be a trash can I took vows to someone that refuses to evolve I took vows to feel something because it was better than nothing