I could feel you tiptoe around the bitter conversation.
I breathe in your narcissism.
I juggle your perfectionism and wind of chaos.
I could feel you dig your nails into my flesh.
I am starving for your disappearance.
I balance your chameleon charm and mirrors.
I could feel you drag your feet toward the open door.
I am constantly tasting your immaturity.
I adjust to your outbursts and drama.
I could feel you slipping through my fingertips.
I swallow the pill easily knowing you are no longer here.
Poetry
May 20, 2018

Priceless expression
In disbelief
Created the largest distance
A pivotal moment
Wishing it could be held still
Clueless to what motivates me
Not grasping the grand picture
Spoken like a fraud
Eulogy of Forgiveness
Forgive me if I speak the colors of truth
Forgive me if I stare into the painted sunset
Forgive me if I stand to close to the walls
Forgive me if I walk alone on the trails
Forgive me if I view myself as a whirlwind
Forgive me if I ramble in my head
Forgive me if I notice you don’t care
Forgive me if I see nothing in my future
Forgive me if I bottle up what you can’t see
Forgive me if I vent my frustrations to myself
Forgive me if I tell myself it will all be ok
Forgive me if I just keep to myself
Forgive me if I die and no one is at my funeral
Do I Care Enough..(Braeden’s Writing Challenge)
Should I care enough
to acknowledge your existence
Do I care enough
to reply back to your nonsense
Should I care enough
to slap that grin off your devious face
Do I care enough
to raise my palm toward an empty man
Should I care enough
to not leave you penniless
Do I care enough
to take you to court
Should I care enough
to walk away from you
Do I care enough
about myself to make a decision
Should I care enough
about myself to leave you
*Marie had asked me to use this title for a poem.
****
Please check out my books!
Overkilling Abundance
Escape to Silence
I can’t tell
If I’m lost
or if I’m just not found
I can’t tell
If I’m confused
or if I’m in a fog
I can’t tell
If I’m the enigma
or if I’m missing pieces
I can’t tell
If I’m scared of myself
or just want to be hidden
I can’t tell
If I’m in a movie
or my reality is dramatic
I can’t tell
if I’m an introvert
or I just enjoy being alone
I can’t tell
if I want to live
or if I’m content being alive
Poet’s Tale
I was born to feel
I was born to absorb my emotions a bit different
I want to see the world through others eyes
I was born to be a poet
I was born to be a writer
I want to be in touch with my tears
I want to know where they came from
I want to know where your scars came from
I want to understand you
I was born to be something I didn’t know existed
I was born to love you
I was born to share something that is suppose to bring us together
I was born to hold you
I was born so we could be together
I was born to love you until the end of time
Lost Identity
I’m a blurry train wreck
I’m the bottom of a pit
I’m the black ice in the winter
I’m the darkest rain cloud
I’m the sting from the bee
I’m a fading car crash
I’m the dust on the ground
I’m the tears in my lonely eyes
I’m a distant social disease
I’m the monster under my bed
I’m the skeleton in my closet
I’m the spider creating my own web
I’m the tarantula in the desert
I’m the demon in my soul
Elastic
I saw you between the kaleidoscopic tears and wretched veins. I kept my distance and harbored the burnt edges of my existence. I clashed with harmony and my own walls that I have personally built. I stand between your denial and my built up frustrations. I walk away to hold on to my sanity knowing my dreams will never come true. I live for you. I live for what I love not the picket fences you created. I always thought love was elastic.
****
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Simply Beautiful

You don’t need stunning
lipstick to make you sexy
You don’t need layers
of make up to make you beautiful
Just be real
You don’t need curves
to make you ravishing
You don’t need to perform
sexual acts to make you desirable
Just be honest
You don’t need to hide
all of the layers that make up you
Just be simply beautiful
***
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Stench of Loneliness

I wish
I could cough up
the self hatred
from my lungs
I wish
I could remove
the stench of
loneliness
from my skin
I wish
I could wash
the scorching anger
from my eyes
I wish
I could be someone
other than myself
Broken Bottle Highway (Braeden’s Writing Challenge #2)

Chasing a high-pitch shout
down an empty bottle
Retracing every convoluted
and mindless discussion
that was conjured up
Deciding not to dwell or
wallow in your demise
doesn’t change that I
can feel every chard of glass
down Broken Bottle Highway
You call yourself a lost soul
but parts of you just vanish
You claim to seek the answers
to the questions you already know
Along the path of stubbornness
Broken Bottle Highway
runs parallel to your demons
I Am
I don’t measure myself by the dollar earned
I don’t measure myself by possessions
I don’t measure myself by the scars
I don’t measure myself by what I write
I don’t measure myself by the quantity of friends
I don’t measure myself by my beliefs
I don’t measure myself by who I know
I don’t measure myself by my fears
I don’t measure myself by my philosophies
I don’t measure myself by my tears
I just don’t measure myself
I am who I am
Shadow of You: Anchor in the Fog
Overflowing drops of sadness
crash the grounds of reality
Waves of anger and frustration
soar through every vein
Camouflaging the numbness
wakens the frozen memories
Slowly losing the crack of a smile
shades of grey and black entwine
A living ghost I am, alone—
all that is left of you
I talk in my sleep when I’m wide awake
In limbo I reach out to you,
my anchor in the fog
Overflowing mourning bellows
shattering the reflection in the mirror
Staring into the depths of your selfishness
stirring the darkest hurricanes
Consuming prescriptions of self-hatred
scream at your tarnished soul
Slowly your existence forever fades
whirlwinds of chaos downpour into your loved ones
A living ghost I am, alone—
evidence of your life
I keep together with special effects
And all I want is to touch you,
my anchor in the fog
Overflowing rain of melancholy
drip into the silence of your grave
Crumbled walls are now at your feet
as clouds hang over your torn shadow
Dwelling into your perfectionism
dismantles your steel cage
Slowly your wishes become true
Your actions speak a thousand poems
than the words you spoke alive
A living ghost I am no more—
I’ll breathe for me and you
Laugh for me and you, love for me and you
But still, I want to hold you tight,
my anchor in the fog
B.M. – Non italics parts
K.A – Italic Part
Collaboration of Braeden Michaels & Kindra M. Austin
Poemsandparagraphs.wordpress.com
I enjoyed collaborating with Kindra. It was easy. Her writing is real, raw, and honest to the core. Check out her blog.
February 8, 1992

I scratched my itch
I packed my bags
I didn’t laugh
I couldn’t say a word
They were already said
I held in the jungle
I swallowed my confusion
I didn’t see the condition
I couldn’t see the barriers
They were already built
I walked away from the illusion
I quietly closed the door
I saw a new found path
They were always there
I just ignored them
****
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New Book Released!
Deepest Scars
Your deepest scars
don’t define who you are
Your deepest scars
walk away from the sunset
Your deepest scars
don’t stare into the light
Your deepest scars
hide behind the plum tree
Your deepest scars
don’t scream at the rage
Your deepest scars
have burnt everlasting edges
Your deepest scars
don’t speak in front of millions
Your deepest scars
never fade in the chapter
Your deepest scars
don’t disappear in the journey
Your deepest scars
shape your colorful soul
Your deepest scars
make you gorgeous
Montmarte (Braeden’s Writing Challenge #2)

Browallia’s flourishing
in the blackish ridge
of the twinkling garden
Valiant orchids
blossom under a
bisque echoing sun
Spine tingling laughter
Inhaling sweet affection
Savoring a glass of Merlot
Exhilarating conversation
Meeting the love of my
life on Montmarte
****
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Uneducated Stalker

Injecting balladry
like it’s a antiseptic
Using your tiny
carry on thesaurus
to captivate the innocent
Swallowing cups of caffeine
to fill a concave
wretched black heart
Drunken saliva dripping
down your male oversized chin
Sunken and carved out
slurping the Devil’s wine
Casting judgement
from an empty phantom
A mindless hippocrate
Not realizing you are
an uneducated stalker
Overflowing Ink Boulevard

I saw vibrating rainbows draped over a slippery moon. I saw glitter on 20 x 20 frames. I could hear the grand piano playing in the deserted mountains. I saw a glimpse of red in the clouds of rage. I saw rivers of champagne. I witnessed sorrow hiding deep into the caves. I saw the sun bellow. I saw bouquets of silence seek Cupid’s harp. I fell into the well creeping behind the parade of jesters. I saw the edges of souls bleed tears of joy. I saw emptiness screech. I felt the warmth of diamond shaped hearts. I found a bottle of spilled ink and the words were never ending. I heard trumpets around the bend. I saw blank pages but words rattled and spoke like gospel. I discovered the path of humanity. I caressed the gentleness of others. I climbed into the vortex of raw emotions. I felt the infinite words in ink overflow within myself.












