Between the blackouts and the vertigo
slurred discussions evaporate in the smog
Excuses and cursed words creep in
Empty words reside at the bottom

Even the bloodshot moon cries

Between the collision and the stars
sound of gin on the rocks washes away
sarcasm and coughed up memories
Acceptance of losses linger in the cold

Even the bloodshot moon cries

Between the anger and the doubt
brick walls rise inside my head
Drowning in the misery and sadness
Reveling in the toxic moment

Even the bloodshot moon cries

Between the strangers and ignorance
conversations vibrate and tremble
Loneliness staggers among the silence
Bottled up screams whisper

Even the bloodshot moon cries

I’ve fallen between the snarl and the calm whispers

I’ve fallen between the thin cracks and the hollow cries

I’ve fallen between insignificance and crumbs of emptiness

I’ve fallen between the corners and crevices of brokenness

I’ve fallen between the remains and disguised pieces

I’ve fallen between the torn walls and dreary coatings

I’ve fallen between apathy and a misfit playing in the black

I’ve fallen between misery and torture dancing in my blank eyes

I’m lost

in the translucent visual

I’m wrapped

too much into fantasy

I’m engaged

in to what isn’t happening

I’m staring

at the colors in my head

I’m laced

up in sexuality and wonder

I’m walking

through a wet and hazy dream

I’m feeling

so many hands reaching for me

I’m aching

for the sweat to never disappear

I’m ignoring

the parts to the puzzle

I’m chasing

the river next to the sunset

I’m bleeding

from the knife of reality

I’m recognizing

the shadows of emptiness

I’m wanting

what does not exist

I’m needing

the hands of wishes

I’m starving

for what others possess

I’m craving

for what I don’t have

I’m stalking

the landscape in my head

I’m writing

for what is missing

I’ve stared at my casket

I’ve stared at what you don’t want

I’ve stared at my doubts

I’ve stared at what you ignored

I’ve stared at my beliefs

I’ve stared at what you throw away

I’ve stared at my reflection

I’ve stared at what you don’t do

I’ve stared at my fears

I’ve stared at what you don’t want

I’ve stared at my existence

I’ve stared at the thought of not being here

In a faded brick dungeon

Goodbye written in cursive

on the comatose barricade

Silently incarcerated for

not forgiving myself

Staring at the inner shadows

Paralyzed by the fears

Hibernating from the

distant accusations

Collapsing to the ground

from the violent prosecution

Lies refusing to evaporate

Evidence held hostage

Deserving to be in contempt

Verdict closing in on

my prisoned and deranged soul

Swallowing the key

Leave me a pile of scrutiny

Leave me a bag of aggravation

And I will toss it in the dying closet

Leave me a tiny bit of solitude

Leave me an ounce of spoiled milk

And I will throw it in the empty pantry

Leave me a gallon of spiked juice

Leave me a shred of laughter

And I will painfully swallow the bits

Leave me a bottle of shadows

Leave me a jug of sarcasm

And I will watch myself drown

Leave me a tank of affliction

Leave me a plate of dirty lies

And I will break another mirror

Leave me a pair of worn out glasses

Leave me a little bit of rust

And I will never see my heart ache

How many times

must I repeat myself?

You claim to listen

But you just hear

You are lost in touch

Forgot the beginning

Along the way

Your true color appeared

in front of me

We’ve come this far

I have an option

that never entered

your simple mind

We aren’t going to

to throw away the

broken record

I will toss the record

player all by myself

so you can play it

somewhere else

I sat in a puddle of insignificance

I stand in sand of irrelevance

I am undistinguished to you

I posed in a senseless portrait

I fell in a pointless discussion

I am minor in your grand vision

I sink in a vapor of nothing

I find myself alone in conversations

I am a cloud of dust in your clarity

I drank your monkeyshine from morning until dusk

I consumed your escapade until laughter had a scent

I fell into your delusions and swing danced with a one handed conundrum

I scolded your impositions as the non talking jester chuckled

I was swindled by your kindness and sweet fascinations

I was bamboozled until your thorns turned maroon

I was drenched from your storm of deception

I was intoxicated from your innocent wine

I was brainwashed from your diabolical treachery

I didn’t mean to taste your bitter Shangri-la from your bottle of shenanigans

I swallowed my ignorance as the dull razor slit my throat

I bowed down to the queen as she placed her crown on with a smirk

I looked up speechless and disappeared into the pitch black

All you do is spin in a circumference

All you do is dwell in a circus

And it all feels the same

All you do is throw away the compass

All you do is dance in this sphere

And it all feels the same

All you do is stumble in the fuzz

All you do is rewind and push play

And it all feels the same

All you do is gravitate to a cycle

All you do is remain who you are

And it all feels the same

She’s dressed in compromise

with a splash of anaesthesia

Lost in the scars

She’s wreaking ruins

with a touch of benevolence

Tangled up in a mess

She’s covered up in scotch

with a hint of animalism

Disoriented in the haze

She’s cleansed in affection

with a pinch of pandemonium

Invisible to the

She’s laced in anarchy

with a shot of jangle and bedlam

Slipping in oblivion

She’s cauterizing affection

with roses in her palms

Scatterbrained colors

I use to languish in the polygon of my weeping mind

I thirst for the fragments of my anguish to mold my center

I use to sulk inside myself and drink the wine of selfishness

I sunk my teeth into the dejection

I use to dwell in the camouflage and sink in my words

I swam in the black river under the oppression

I use to neglect faith and drown in the empty tear ducts

I fell into the depths of silence

I use to grieve in the awaken sadness and never sleep

I felt the last breath deceive me

I use to shed my dead skin in the morning to erase the gloomy nights

I carried a chain of misery

I use to gasp at the hollowness and gazed at the autograph

I refused to stare at the nemesis

I saw the signature and found it revolting

A transformation within shouted

She woke up

fragilely disheartened.

Stumbling through

the vacant parking lot

She feared the poison

but chose to swallow

the disturbance

She is helplessly frozen

by the enigma

Falling through

the suffocating blur

She stretches

her cauterized reflection

Desperately seeking

self preservation

She covers her

tumultuous scar

with black mascara

to ignore the recklessness

I’ve tried

to wash off the salt from my wounds

I’ve tried

to walk on the sand barefoot

I’ve tried

to walk off the crippling pain

I’ve tried

to walk on the edge of my reality

I’ve tried

to walk off the circling buzz

I’ve tried

to walk on my monumental mistakes

I’ve tried

to walk off my stumbling ignorance

I’ve tried

to walk on the road to peace

I’ve tried

to walk off the forgiveness

But I can’t

I can’t seem to look at me

If I could run away

I’d join a flying circus

Chat with the lions

Chant with the crowd

Joke with the clowns

Dance with the acrobats

Crawl with the trapeze artists

Hide with the magician

Wrestle with the roar of the tiger

Walk with the Bear

Fall in love with the sideshow

Sit between the caramel apples

and the cotton candy

If I could run away

It wouldn’t solve any of my problems


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Constantly disoriented

frozen whispers speak to me

A deep hunger

to be understood

An appetite

to be stirred by intimacy

No one cares

No one shows it

Efforts are fallen between

the cracks

No one hears me

No one listens

Distorted perception wakens

This is my canvas

Only a writer, a poet,

will gravitate to my words

To everyone else

I am not here

No verses can disguise

the barbwire truth

Furious on the inside

Depression settles like dust

A intact plan merges

Ignoring my needs

Methodical and analytical

Reread the chorus

Every day was an opportunity

you threw away to show me

Nothing will prepare you

for what I’m about to do….