Clasping to the vicious sound

Grinding my teeth to loneliness

Clenching to the hollow rattle

Snagging the callous pages

Latching on to the emptiness

Seeking the comfort in the corner

Clutching to the invisible truth

Absorbing the bitterness

Digesting too much judgement

Consuming bits of the view

Seizing the blankness

Clawing inside my cage

Refusing to listen and understand

where I was and where I am

Between the blackouts and the vertigo
slurred discussions evaporate in the smog
Excuses and cursed words creep in
Empty words reside at the bottom

Even the bloodshot moon cries

Between the collision and the stars
sound of gin on the rocks washes away
sarcasm and coughed up memories
Acceptance of losses linger in the cold

Even the bloodshot moon cries

Between the anger and the doubt
brick walls rise inside my head
Drowning in the misery and sadness
Reveling in the toxic moment

Even the bloodshot moon cries

Between the strangers and ignorance
conversations vibrate and tremble
Loneliness staggers among the silence
Bottled up screams whisper

Even the bloodshot moon cries

In a faded brick dungeon

Goodbye written in cursive

on the comatose barricade

Silently incarcerated for

not forgiving myself

Staring at the inner shadows

Paralyzed by the fears

Hibernating from the

distant accusations

Collapsing to the ground

from the violent prosecution

Lies refusing to evaporate

Evidence held hostage

Deserving to be in contempt

Verdict closing in on

my prisoned and deranged soul

Swallowing the key

Pulled heart string
Recorded whispers at a dead end street
Telephone wires ripped
And Velcro tattered wings fall
Lashing of a dangerous tongue
Transfusions of vertigo
Neon needles lit on the graveyard shift
And deafening beats of solitude cry
Pockets full of copper
Choking scrambled poison
Trails of blood money at my feet
And the silver spoon cracks
Convicted of breaking veins
Stealing the scent of perfume
Intimidating romance
And I raise the glass to loneliness
Dressed for travelers checks
Leaving for cards and dice
Guzzling a cup of burgundy
And I toast to the shell of myself


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Emotionally deficient

Unavailable hands

She leaves me cold

One teardrop

Blank stares piercing

Nonexistent affection

She leaves me confused

Two teardrops

Ignoring casualties

Split and deceased

She leaves me in distress

Three teardrops

Dissolved current

Withdrawn shadow

She leaves me without a trace

Four teardrops

Absent and eliminated

Misplaced words

She leaves without a sound

Inside forever it rains


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Stumbling into a fuzzy

and sanitized brainstorm

Watching the fury

leave stains where the mime

inside placed his hands

on the four by four box

Chatter dissolves

Blood clots stricken

Nonstop convulsions

A falling stigma is spread

like dust on the tricks

of my broken down mind

Fears wallow

Doubt hangs like tree branches

in a distraught hurricane

Analytics in bold

Emotions shredded

Wiping away the dirt from

my cynical and distant eyes

Leaving the mime inside

cry like a new born baby

Constantly misunderstood

A misguided circus fumbling

through the fog

A part of me is the feather

of a soaring bird

Never falling to the ground

without direction

Grasping the words of the prayer

Sent to God from a letter

Please save the mime


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Turning the mystical corner

Shedding a lonely cloak

Stumbling into a undertow

of trembling chaos

Cutting the vine of trust

Assuming the worst of me

makes me never

want to touch you

Presuming danger and harm

But continually using

words you don’t mean

Accepting loneliness

as a shade of grey

Understanding I’ve been

alone all along

Disappointed by your black and white view

Disappointed by the colorless verbiage

And you continue to speak

Disappointed by your cliches and metaphors

Disappointed by the reruns played in your head

And you continue to speak

Disappointed by your anxious stance

Disappointed by the ignorance displayed

And you continue to speak

Disappointed by your choices of phrases

Disappointed by the all about me attitude

And you continue to speak

Leave me a pile of scrutiny

Leave me a bag of aggravation

And I will toss it in the dying closet

Leave me a tiny bit of solitude

Leave me an ounce of spoiled milk

And I will throw it in the empty pantry

Leave me a gallon of spiked juice

Leave me a shred of laughter

And I will painfully swallow the bits

Leave me a bottle of shadows

Leave me a jug of sarcasm

And I will watch myself drown

Leave me a tank of affliction

Leave me a plate of dirty lies

And I will break another mirror

Leave me a pair of worn out glasses

Leave me a little bit of rust

And I will never see my heart ache

I sat in a puddle of insignificance

I stand in sand of irrelevance

I am undistinguished to you

I posed in a senseless portrait

I fell in a pointless discussion

I am minor in your grand vision

I sink in a vapor of nothing

I find myself alone in conversations

I am a cloud of dust in your clarity

Innocently sitting

A table for two

Sleeping with the chapters

Blocking out sirens

Change dropping to the street

Erasing her ex’s and lovers

Breathing in marinated chicken

Waiting patiently for her

Garden salad swimming in

a pool of ranch dressing

Crowds of fake gestures

walk by in Navy and silver suits

Gazing at her long legs

Continuing to turn crisp pages

Blinded by “ A table for two”

Only sitting one

Loneliness is inconclusive

Perhaps it’s a choice


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Chopped up dialogue

Interpretations of saturation

Absorbed by lost brain waves

Unfolding by a misunderstanding

Swallowing mashed up berries

Filling heartache with sand

Surrounding it with ten pound cement

Reminiscing the foolishness

Blaming the scavengers

Walking down Cheap Wine Avenue

like a stray dog in an empty storm

Plagued with expectations

Relentlessly undressing the wounds

Baring the char broiled soul

Washing the spots of hands

Praying to turn to the left

to see the state of peace lane

I’m disappointed in myself as usual

I’m disappointed to reach for something I can not feel

I’m disappointed with my voice of truth

I’m disappointed in my ignorant silence

I’m disappointed with my points of view

I’m disappointed with my deceptive mind

I’m disappointed in the fool I can’t see

I’m disappointed that I couldn’t feel the needles puncture my skin

I use to languish in the polygon of my weeping mind

I thirst for the fragments of my anguish to mold my center

I use to sulk inside myself and drink the wine of selfishness

I sunk my teeth into the dejection

I use to dwell in the camouflage and sink in my words

I swam in the black river under the oppression

I use to neglect faith and drown in the empty tear ducts

I fell into the depths of silence

I use to grieve in the awaken sadness and never sleep

I felt the last breath deceive me

I use to shed my dead skin in the morning to erase the gloomy nights

I carried a chain of misery

I use to gasp at the hollowness and gazed at the autograph

I refused to stare at the nemesis

I saw the signature and found it revolting

A transformation within shouted

I’ve resided in the fallen darkness. I’ve stared at the glass of redemption and feel it’s fragility. I’ve walked among the ruins and recognize a distorted mirror. I’ve tied myself to the script. I’ve seen the chameleons slither around my woven sun. I’ve sat on the branches and saw the sand I could not feel. I’ve reveled in my stench. I’ve tried for a decade to remove the aroma. I’ve cried a thousand teardrops and have crawled through the river of gloom. I have finally thrown away the key to insomnia. I have finally slept and see the reality for the first time.

I was sucker punched

with the lack of sensitivity

I stood in a marble corner

in thick shackles

aching for over the top affection

I took a left hook to the jaw

from a decaying prisoner

of stone cold truth

As my body fell to the

shallow and devious ocean

I saw myself drown

because I’m a inconvenience

Bruises from loneliness

Cracked ribs from your ballistic

and absurd point of view

Barely breathing from you

cramming down your ideologies

Whispering goodbye


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Constantly disoriented

frozen whispers speak to me

A deep hunger

to be understood

An appetite

to be stirred by intimacy

No one cares

No one shows it

Efforts are fallen between

the cracks

No one hears me

No one listens

Distorted perception wakens

This is my canvas

Only a writer, a poet,

will gravitate to my words

To everyone else

I am not here