Emotionally deficient

Unavailable hands

She leaves me cold

One teardrop

Blank stares piercing

Nonexistent affection

She leaves me confused

Two teardrops

Ignoring casualties

Split and deceased

She leaves me in distress

Three teardrops

Dissolved current

Withdrawn shadow

She leaves me without a trace

Four teardrops

Absent and eliminated

Misplaced words

She leaves without a sound

Inside forever it rains


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She is gasping for unwanted air

She is gasping for light in the tunnel

And she chokes on anguish

She is gasping for truth in the desert

She is gasping for an identity

And she chokes on agony

She is gasping for a lost puzzle piece

She is gasping for a magnificent wind

And she chokes on torture

She is gasping for a masterpiece

She is gasping for clarity in the journey

And she chokes on misery

She is gasping for a sparkle in the night

She is gasping for a blistering miracle

And she chokes on fear inside

All you do is spin in a circumference

All you do is dwell in a circus

And it all feels the same

All you do is throw away the compass

All you do is dance in this sphere

And it all feels the same

All you do is stumble in the fuzz

All you do is rewind and push play

And it all feels the same

All you do is gravitate to a cycle

All you do is remain who you are

And it all feels the same

I use to languish in the polygon of my weeping mind

I thirst for the fragments of my anguish to mold my center

I use to sulk inside myself and drink the wine of selfishness

I sunk my teeth into the dejection

I use to dwell in the camouflage and sink in my words

I swam in the black river under the oppression

I use to neglect faith and drown in the empty tear ducts

I fell into the depths of silence

I use to grieve in the awaken sadness and never sleep

I felt the last breath deceive me

I use to shed my dead skin in the morning to erase the gloomy nights

I carried a chain of misery

I use to gasp at the hollowness and gazed at the autograph

I refused to stare at the nemesis

I saw the signature and found it revolting

A transformation within shouted

I fear the oceans water

I dread the depth

I look away from the oceans water

I can’t see the bottom

I hide from the oceans water

I detest the slippery feel

I stand miles away from the oceans water

I hate what it represents

I despise the oceans water

I refuse to embrace it

I run from the oceans water

I know the harm and danger

I’m reluctant to say I love you

I’m reluctant to say you are wanted

I’m reluctant to say what is in my heart

I’m reluctant to say you are a need

I’m reluctant to say I cherish you

I’m reluctant to say you are special

I’m reluctant to say you are amazing

I’m reluctant to say you are an angel

I’m reluctant to say anything

I might as well join the rest of the world

Ribs shook

Teeth chattered

A swig of Alligator Juice

Testing intestinal fortitude

Crying Esophagus

Liquid to soothe the deserted soul

Reviving the hostile lungs

Defining the edges and nerves

Overtaken by the emptiness

As he fills his stomach

with acidic Alligator Juice

So much anger

So much bottled

So much frustration

So much repeating

So much carelessness

So much distance

So much ignoring

So much venom

So much contained

So much lost

So much wasted

So much avoiding

So much gone

So much feared

So much vile

So much excrement

So much confusion

So much

I can’t tell

If I’m lost

or if I’m just not found

I can’t tell

If I’m confused

or if I’m in a fog

I can’t tell

If I’m the enigma

or if I’m missing pieces

I can’t tell

If I’m scared of myself

or just want to be hidden

I can’t tell

If I’m in a movie

or my reality is dramatic

I can’t tell

if I’m an introvert

or I just enjoy being alone

I can’t tell

if I want to live

or if I’m content being alive