He traded a Jose Canseco

baseball card for a catchers mitt

He gave his best friend twenty bucks

to ask Robin Metzger out for him

He took his graduation money

to purchase a car that lasted 8 months

He took an ounce of weed

to college to bribe his teacher

He asked his cell mate

for a pack of cigarettes

He got out of prison four years later

and had no clue where he was