I wallow in the paraphrases and the ick of December. Wintery trees remind me of childhood and what use to be. Today the misery and solitude linger in the brisk air. I no longer grasp and hold onto affection. I took a walk and could see my reflection in the mangled trees. Branches scattered like my frozen thoughts. I stand still as depression settles deeper. No one wants to stand from my perspective. I despise the winter and hollow chill. No one cares. I use to crave to feel. I stare into the paragraphs and emptiness flows. No one cares. I don’t ask why I am alive. I ask when will you take me out of my misery?

Eyeballing the coordinates

Interpreting and measuring the angles

Shoveled efforts plead cases

in the clay and dim ground

Removed discussions and grief

Presenting facts and disregarding

lethal gut wrenching emotion

Pulling left to be right

Pushing right to be wrong

Winning is irrelevant and misguided

Grazing thoughts of compassion

Understanding points of view

Too much gray between black and white

Indecisiveness stands still

One sided lie

Two sided truths

Equal broken indifferences and shadows

I’ve offered you a ship and you offer me a canoe

I’ve offered you a dozen roses and you offer me a dandelion

Sadness is a trigger

I’ve offered you a plate of everything and you offer me a morsel

I’ve offered you a road and you offer me a unpaved narrow path

Sadness is a trigger

I’ve offered you a tree of gold and you offer me a stained branch

I’ve offered you a notebook and you offer me a page

Sadness is a trigger

I’ve offered you barrel of ink and you offer me a ballpoint pen

When I’m gone my written words will say it all

Like a light kite in the sky

waving at the landscapes

Adoring God’s creations

from the ground to the

feathers and trees

Flying like a hummingbird

raptured in his point of view

Watching statues and waters

from an eagles eye

Tranquility prances in the

honeysuckle breeze

Harmony is held in

Cupid’s hands

All in all beauty surrounds

us like a circle

We just have a choice

to see it

Foolish and dumb I crumble

Stuck in a wrecking atmosphere

Drifting out of consciousness

Wishes fall beneath my feet

I can’t move

A jolt of discomfort shatters within

Starring at discolored fragments

Crying romance bellows forgiveness

Dropping rights and wrongs

I can’t move

Dying to be understood in tired eyes

All I absorb are tears and rain

wearing a chain of animosity

through a howling river

I can’t move anymore


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Wider than a bulldozer

Enormous sight for hungry eyes

Long and gigantic

Bigger than her mouth

Generous and gigantic

A massive gesture curved

Grand and sizable

Staring at the abundance

Curious as a small kitten

Wondering in delight

Glaring at the immense

Extravagant and humongous

Gawking at the thickness

Fixated on the strength

A portion leaps to be inquisitive

Blushing inside and out

Intensity risen beyond its heights

I hold the most intimate

possessions

I hold your “personal” items

I hold your fixes and thoughts

I hold your chocolate

at the crack of midnight

I hold your lip gloss and chapstick

I hold the second volume

of your cherished diary

I hold items that give you something

that your husband can’t

I’m terrified

to inhale your naked skies

I’m terrified

to kiss your illuminating scars

I’m terrified

to wipe away your violent tears

I’m terrified

to capture your torn heart

I’m terrified

to feel your dirty rain

I’m terrified

to hold on to your numb hand

I’m terrified

to feel a love that I didn’t know existed

I’m terrified

to hear the symphony in your sea

I’m terrified

to walk alone on this broken road

I’m terrified

to stand at the turns in this landscape


*Dewy Place had requested this title.

I’m alone and sleeping in the cavern

I’m alone and sleeping in the gloom

And never do I cry

I’m alone and sleeping in the dusk

I’m alone and sleeping in the morning

And never do I bleed

I’m alone and sleeping in the twilight

I’m alone and sleeping in my coffin

And never do I pray

I’m alone and sleeping in the screams

I’m alone and sleeping in the silence

And never do I laugh

I’m alone and sleeping in the scars

I’m alone and sleeping in the obscurity

And never do I change

Stranded on euthanasia street

A number of casualties walk

on the chalk lines around the

thousands of the bloodless scarecrows

Weeds and black roses grow

in gardens of screeches

A morbid hawk hovers the emptiness

barking of a dog reverberates

Eyelids are glued to mailboxes

A mindless city stuck in the trenches

Watching television from the grave

Chuckling as coffins close shut

Numbness and laughter blend

Mothers cauterized by loneliness

Fathers gravitate to only lust

Avoiding love at all cost

Mice crawling from pillow cases

Skeletons playing poker Indian style

in front of the rusted closets

Using marrow as golden chips

Despair and poverty shook hands

Pull the exasperating plug

on any side of this hellacious town

Take a sip of cyanide before crossing

this sharp and dying town

Acquaintances and formalities

shook hands with the Devil’s tongue

Saliva drips down to the

center of honesty and disintegrated

Kindness only filled a shot glass

As gulps of uncertainty surrounded

glass scarecrows and empty vigilantes

Stale friendships vanish in the mist

Faded signs were torn down

Three bedroom houses decomposed

Laughter is a decaying tooth

As you turn on this fragmented road

Rotten and spoiled

Under a behemoth sun

Thick as molasses

Bubbling and boiling

Covered in a thousand ants

Wretched and horrid

Even the dog whimpers

from gory stench

Earth worms screaming

A ruthless sight

Accidentally generated

Even the stars hide

behind the glossy clouds

Ground breaking substance

A couple created

living off the land

No animal will consume

Forever rancid

She fell in love

with his top hat and vaudeville looks

She fell in love

with his chocolate wit and ripped edge tone

She fell in love

with his Broadway voice and commanding demeanor

She fell in love

with his gloss and glitz of his sword

She fell in love with

his galant worth and the backbone of his confidence

She fell in love

with his chivalry and gentle heart

She fell in love

with his deep river and his stark raving armor

She fell in love

with his lyrics and got lost in the melody

Chopped up dialogue

Interpretations of saturation

Absorbed by lost brain waves

Unfolding by a misunderstanding

Swallowing mashed up berries

Filling heartache with sand

Surrounding it with ten pound cement

Reminiscing the foolishness

Blaming the scavengers

Walking down Cheap Wine Avenue

like a stray dog in an empty storm

Plagued with expectations

Relentlessly undressing the wounds

Baring the char broiled soul

Washing the spots of hands

Praying to turn to the left

to see the state of peace lane

Before you make a sharp turn

on Over Exaggerated Lane

Signs for Decaying Truth Hill

are on your right in front

of the redwood trees

Follow the uneven road

and you will see Disturbance Road

Veer to the left and see the

old rotted sign for Route Bloodsucker

Drive twenty miles with

irritated skin and a defying mistress

Overloads of fierce tension

will consume your one track mind

Disconnect the alarm clocks

as you drive on the famous

Saturated with Rage Byway

****

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Give me your golden heart

Give me your kindred spirit

Give me your bright light

Give me your forgiving soul

Give me your generosity

Give me your glass world

Give me your crying desert

Give me your precious wisdom

Give me your burning essence

Give me your tender heart beat

Give me your gentle words

Give me your beloved patience


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I’m disappointed in myself as usual

I’m disappointed to reach for something I can not feel

I’m disappointed with my voice of truth

I’m disappointed in my ignorant silence

I’m disappointed with my points of view

I’m disappointed with my deceptive mind

I’m disappointed in the fool I can’t see

I’m disappointed that I couldn’t feel the needles puncture my skin

I use to languish in the polygon of my weeping mind

I thirst for the fragments of my anguish to mold my center

I use to sulk inside myself and drink the wine of selfishness

I sunk my teeth into the dejection

I use to dwell in the camouflage and sink in my words

I swam in the black river under the oppression

I use to neglect faith and drown in the empty tear ducts

I fell into the depths of silence

I use to grieve in the awaken sadness and never sleep

I felt the last breath deceive me

I use to shed my dead skin in the morning to erase the gloomy nights

I carried a chain of misery

I use to gasp at the hollowness and gazed at the autograph

I refused to stare at the nemesis

I saw the signature and found it revolting

A transformation within shouted