I’ve been walloped by your butterfly mask

I’ve been bashed by your holy art thou wisdom

I’ve been slammed by your sinful justifications

I’ve been battered in this emotional slugfest

I’ve been belted by your catatonic stare

I’ve been jabbed by your staggering intellect

I’ve been drilled by your spilled ink

I’ve been pulverized by the word you use called “love”

I’ve been beaten down to the bottom of this angry cell


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I’m a rag doll

with deteriorating veins

Melancholy is my

vodka guzzling down

my parched throat

Second prize

is sewn to my

invisible forehead

I’m a lost princess

craving love and affection

Bleakness is the name

of my withering perfume

I stumble between sister Abigail

and Thanksgiving leftovers

the color of my eyes

has only seen mourning grey

and the slamming of doors

I write in my black

and white diary

In cursive you will see it

labeled as the forgotten daughter


*Petoilin has asked me to use this title

I want to break your traditionalism

I want to unleash the lion underneath

I want to unveil the darkest red

I want to feel the wrath of your lipstick

I want to feel your mold crumble

I want to feel your transformation

I want to reveal your ripped secrets

I want to throw away the blue towel

I want to move side by side with you

I want to roll the dice in the flames

I want to be ignited by your thoughts

I want to prance in your amazing mind

I want to make you let go of the fear

I’m sorry for the restless carnage

I’m sorry for the bridge of hurt

I’m sorry for the never ending wounds

I’m sorry for the blazing bullets

I’m sorry for the vicious disguise

I’m sorry for rendezvous shadow

I’m sorry for the bloodletting

I’m sorry for the eclipse in your eye

I’m sorry for the circling thunder

I’m sorry for my cursed identity

I’m sorry for my numb existence

A population of stains

Dismembered statues and walking lanterns

Crying skyscrapers

Hollow laughter and piles of rubble

A borough of nocturnals

Flickering neon lights

Thousands bathing in sorrow

Wallowing in self pity

Frozen to cross the border

Roads of misfortune spread like disease

Shaking perplexity

An atmosphere of hardships

A crowded mind of fears

Jittery and suspicious

Building up angst and anxiety

Flaring panic button

Phobias in the pockets

Agitations and uneasiness jump

Carrying nightmares like a torch

burning in front of windows

Fright and terror giggle like teens

Trembles forever weighted

Screwed up to the center

Wider than a bulldozer

Enormous sight for hungry eyes

Long and gigantic

Bigger than her mouth

Generous and gigantic

A massive gesture curved

Grand and sizable

Staring at the abundance

Curious as a small kitten

Wondering in delight

Glaring at the immense

Extravagant and humongous

Gawking at the thickness

Fixated on the strength

A portion leaps to be inquisitive

Blushing inside and out

Intensity risen beyond its heights

Exhausted from the breathtaking gust

Replaying all the motions

of the perfect night

Mesmerized by her soothing moans

Our entangled bodies merged

The unspoken dance curved into a

ballad I can’t shut off inside myself

The satin moonlight was held in

our fingertips

Words never uttered under the covers

Only blissful flames and never ending

appetites

Louis Armstrong playing in my

right ear

Dinah Washington playing in my

left ear

Caressing the tender sunrise as I gaze

at her magnificence

Love was etched from the melody

Not the unwritten lyrics

I hold the most intimate

possessions

I hold your “personal” items

I hold your fixes and thoughts

I hold your chocolate

at the crack of midnight

I hold your lip gloss and chapstick

I hold the second volume

of your cherished diary

I hold items that give you something

that your husband can’t

You threw

the glitter and tinsel at my mouth

You threw

compliments I knew would fade

You threw

words without a sound

You threw

a playbook I already read

You threw

colors of paint I already touched

You threw

lights around my sensitive neck

You threw

a chard of glass at my eyes

You threw

glitter and tinsel that I knew would

eventually fall to the ground

Lovesick and in a thousand
bits of agony spread out over the dust
Shredded and defeated
No golden paths or marble dance floor
The wrecking disco ball evaporated
Romeo was convicted of manslaughter
and wearing bell bottom jeans
Aimlessly driving through quicksand
Drowning in self pity and tossing
the words of Shakespeare into the trash
Juliet stood frozen on the center stage
manipulating the script in her mind
No longer believing in the crystal ball
love becoming a nightmare not a fairytale
The poets and songwriters clench to
melodies of sarcasm and emptiness

In silence the moans crawled like graffiti from the wall

In wailing thunder the anger was deafening

In the grumble she arched her red tip wings

In the rolling her halo disappeared in the rapture

She snarled at the first of December

She fell into the roar of the winter shackle

In the yell she crudely despised the minutia

She whispered to the autumn kiss

She bellyached over torn dialogue

In the complaining she swallowed the past

She criticized the truth as it gulped her like alcohol

I sidestepped away from your catchphrase

I refuse to glide in your metaphors

Pieces of me die

I accidentally tripped in your outlandish allegory

I watched you emphatically deny your bewitching desires

Pieces of me fade

I tiptoed in your monsoon of paragraphs

I glanced at your impatient pupils

Pieces of me disappear

I wasted never ending hours for your indecisiveness

I ignored my instincts and dusted off the pain

Pieces of me stain

Roses are red

Violets are blue

So much to love

about sensational you

Full of kindness

and tender joy

Abundance of life

Glowing spirit

A wonderful gem

Shining and rare

Sparks dancing around you

A never ending spectrum

of spectacularity

Loving and embracing

the fall and height

All begins with

Roses and violets

in your remarkable eyes

I paid a subscription to your diary

I paid a fee to have a piece of your heart

I paid the gatekeeper to find the key

And the price chipped at my blood soaked soul in the cage

I paid the politicians to write a book of lies

I paid the servants to disservice the king

I paid the sinners to sell their crimes

And the price chipped at my blood soaked soul in the cage

I paid the witnesses to run away

I paid the fortune teller to paint a picture

I paid the artist to forecast golden dreams

And the price chipped at my blood soaked soul in the cage

I paid the hunter to kill the enemy

I paid the invader to seek out the truth

I paid the villain to stab me with fears

And the price chipped at my blood soaked soul in the cage


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