Up against the

threshold

Stolen pieces

of the sun

tear my flesh

Broken mirrors

are below my

restless feet

Careless words

are spoken

My efforts

are not enough

Sacrifices

are made not

for me

But for the

grand image

you can’t see

I no longer

feel valued

and appreciated

All I feel are my

paralyzed wings

As time surpasses

you forget the

foundation we built

Black and white

photographs pluck

the tears from my eyes

Etched memories

never dissolve or fade

cherishing every kiss

Reminiscing the last

fifty years of preciousness

Embracing every second

Through the heights of

the golden mountains

and blackout valleys

Love never once

sat in the shade

In sadness and melancholy

I have to leave

Mulholland Drive tonight

I spent a lifetime

in this brick castle

with my beloved queen

May she rest In Peace

as my heart is in pieces

This is really good! I love this!

Stella

Gliding across broken glass

In her eighteenth century garb

Dragging hot coals

Igniting flames in her path

Submissive demons bow down to her

She spews her unforgivable sins

Her actions show no remorse

She sharpens her tongue for more precise slices

She pushes the almighty with an unfelt shove

Her name is sprinkled in the King James like poison fourteen times

Her wrists and ankles adorned with us breakable chains

She carefully makes her bed in the lake of fire

Challenge✔️

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Deteriorating eyesight

Cockeyed perception

Agitations foaming at the mouth

Removing the garbage

Calming the whispers

Torturing the roars

Sighing to the bee sting

Bleeding from the dry lips

Masking undertones

Streaming suspicions

Cutting the grapevines

Screaming murmurs

Bumbling suggestions leach

Rumors spread like a cold

Unsubstantiated truths

I will acknowledge

that I had an affair

I love metaphors

creating imaginary worlds

A written tapestry

Seduced by alliteration

I had an affair

with the craft of language

I’m enthralled by

the layers and symbolism

I’m engaged

to a place to release my tension

I’m in a atmosphere

where I’m understood

I’m in a whirlwind

where I’m forever lost

I’m pulled in

by the legacy of poets

Desiring to fulfill

a long winded fantasy

The affair will continue….

Roaming the uneven concrete

like a slobbering bloodhound

A vagabond meandering

through a decorated parade

Mischievous and unorthodox

Offensive and crude

Admittance of displacement

A lurking deadly reptile

Preaching to be resentful

Disfigure emotionally of others

A rancid phlegm among millions

The sauntering antichrist

(1st Verse)
It’s the last day of November,
The leaves are twisting in the wind.
All the years have passed by silently,
Tarnished memories seep in my skin.
Words only stick to my jaded tongue,
I don’t know how to unlock the door.
My feet are feeling like a thousand pounds,
Something inside can take the beating a little more.

Chorus:
I’m crawling on crippled boulevard,
Haven’t seen the rain or felt the falling stars.
There isn’t any rainbow miles away in sight,
Chained to the dark staring at the candlelight.

(2nd Verse)
It’s the last day of December,
The snowflakes are melting on my scars.
All the years have passed by in fear.
Burning photographs wasn’t all that hard.
Words only get stuck in my throat,
I don’t have the key to open up the door.
My hands are wrapped up in the past,
Something inside can take the punches a little more.

Chorus:
I’m crawling on crippled boulevard,
Haven’t seen the rain or felt the falling stars.
There isn’t any rainbow miles away in sight,
Chained to the dark staring at the candlelight.

Bridge:
I cry a little harder,
When I know the answers are in front of me.
I cry a little harder,
When I’ve closed my eyes and don’t believe.
I cry a little harder,
When I know my soul is faded black.
I cry a little harder,
When I know that this pain is meant to last.

(2x) Chorus:
I’m crawling on crippled boulevard,
Haven’t seen the rain or felt the falling stars.
There isn’t any rainbow miles away in sight,
Chained to the dark staring at the candlelight.

To care is to have patience

To appreciate you have to lose something

To love you have to treasure seconds

To forgive you have to be human

To grow you have to make mistakes

To be kind you have to listen

To be human you have to open up your heart

To gain perspective open up your eyes

To be ignorant close your ears

To be special just be yourself

To live is not to be afraid

To be alive you have to learn to feel

(Verse 1)
She only lets me half way in,
She doesn’t know where it all begins,
I’m sitting here waiting for the crash.
She only lets me see the picket fence,
She doesn’t know where it all went,
I’m sitting here staring at the past.
You play me like an acoustic guitar,
What should be easy is so damn hard.

Chorus:
Chards of lies in my frozen hands,
Dreams of love sinking in quicksand,
Secondhand wishes are never heard.
Walls of anger drowning in my ocean,
Lost and confused in all of my emotions,
Secondhand wishes are disappearing words.

(2nd Verse)
She only lets me see a ray of light,
She doesn’t know it’s not worth the fight,
I’d rather put your needs in front of mine.
She only lets me see a shade of warmth,
She doesn’t know what the future has in store,
I’d rather you see what you were trying to find.
You play like me like a southern violin,
Hopefully you can see no one wins.

Chorus:
Chards of lies in my frozen hands,
Dreams of love sinking in quicksand,
Secondhand wishes are never heard.
Walls of anger drowning in my ocean,
Lost and confused in all of my emotions,
Secondhand wishes are disappearing words.

Bridge:
I’m not afraid of the lightning in the dark,
I’m not afraid of the deep cut in my heart.
I’m not afraid of feeling the pouring rain,
I’m not afraid of the winds of change.
I’m only afraid of becoming numb…
I’m only afraid of what we will become.

Chorus:
Chards of lies in my frozen hands,
Dreams of love sinking in quicksand,
Secondhand wishes are never heard.
Walls of anger drowning in my ocean,
Lost and confused in all of my emotions,
Secondhand wishes are disappearing words.

Didi Oviatt

“Can I help you ma’am?”  His smile rang friendly.

“Hi, yes.” She hesitated, “My name is Autumn. I’m renting an apartment here. I’m sorry to bother you so late.”  She straightened her wrinkly top and fiddled with a gnawed off thumbnail before saying, “I’m just arriving, and I was wondering if you know of anyone that I could pay to help me unpack?”

“Oh, hey, yes, I heard about you!”  His handsome smile grew causing his ears to lift, and a cute little crease to form just below the right cheekbone. “Apt 22 right?”

“Yes, that’s right.”

“Howdy then, ma’am, I’m Jeremy.”

It was a very informal introduction yet he insisted on shaking her hand. His palm was big and his fingers were slightly calloused. A heavy free hand slapped her on the shoulder causing her entire body to jolt. He seemed like a very outgoing young man. A few…

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Constantly chuckling

Flirting with the chauffeur

Wiping away the cookie crumbs

with her red satin glove

Refined but down to the ground

Comprehending humans

the uplifting sister of Dr. Jekyll

Marching along the side

with the devious Mr. Hyde

Strolling in tangerine slippers

seeking simplicity in complexity

Parading the crowded streets

with greetings and handshakes

Removing the word “status”

from Abigail’s stunning vocabulary

Wearing comfortable clothes

Not caring what others think

of her tangerine slippers

Writing with a light shade of pink

Paragraphs of wit and charm

Hallucinations of bitter love

Caught up in unknown webs

Burying summer flings and

hypnotic one night stands

Self inflicted wounds never sewn

The bookmark never leaves

this etched and engraved page

It’s the single page that altered

her perception of love and self

You gave me

a ray of sunshine to view humanity

You gave me

the glue to put my shell together

You gave me

a hand to hold the weight on my shoulders

You gave me

dripping sincerity and truth

You gave me

the candle to hold the endangered flame

You gave me

a sense of puzzling wonder

You gave me

a band aid to disguise the pain

You gave me

a cold cloth to cleanse the self worth

As I grabbed the notebook I cried hard. Words poured out:

Dear God,

I am suppose to believe in you. You took my Dad and I’m very mad at you. I don’t understand and why won’t Nathan cry? What is wrong with him? How could you do this to my mother? Is it possible for you to provide me answers soon?

As I was writing this my mom yelled up.

“Allie is at the door.”

I threw down the pen and wiped my tears. I went downstairs to let Allie in. She said my mom called her mom to tell her the news. I could tell she didn’t know what to say.

“Are you going to school tomorrow?”

“No I’m not going but will go sometime this week. My mom said there was lots to do. I don’t know what she wants me to do.”

“Did she tell you next weekend you and Nathan are staying with us?”

“No she didn’t.”

“It will be fun.”

“Allie Do you believe in God?”

“Yeah I do.”

“Why would God take my Dad?”

Allie just stared at me for a moment.

“I don’t know. I can’t really answer that. Is your notebook full yet? You said you would write something every day.”

“It’s almost full. I wrote something today.”

“What did you write today?”

“Today I wrote a letter to God. I’m hoping he will get it soon and write back.”

“I don’t think that’s how that works.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well at church we are told to believe in him. I don’t think he gets mail in heaven. He doesn’t wait for mail. My mom always says things happen for a reason.”

“So are you saying God took my Dad for a reason?”

“I don’t think it’s that easy to explain Ben. He didn’t take him to cut grass in heaven.”

I didn’t understand what Allie was trying to say.

Stella

Stuck in your slimy trail

Stumbling I my own broken dream

In a trance of treachery

Fraud flung like 52 card pickup

Double and triple and quadruple dealing fuckery

Your cunning and manipulative nature is driven by great ignorance

This trail is a prison in your superstar circus

This splinter in your minds eye is festering

And boiling into a third eye

A star stapled to my breast

Fantastic ruses in spectacular motion

Successful subterfuge bravo bravo

Its all appreciated

Thank you thank you

I’ll add it to my many scars

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A few months had passed and everything appeared to be normal until a early Sunday morning. I woke up to the sound of my mother crying. I laid there in bed and it sounded like she was on the phone. It was barely seven in the morning and Nathan was passed out cold. I never heard her cry like that. It made me nervous. It was then that I saw the knob turn on my door and saw my mother wiping her tears away. I closed my eyes immediately and she sat on the bed. She placed her hand on my face and softly said my name. I opened them up and my mom was frozen.

“Ben I have some bad news.”

She stopped right there. She struggled to continue crying. It struck a nerve in my ten year old body. I could see she was in so much pain emotionally. I could see it at the age of ten. I begin to cry and felt my world was about to change in a drastic way.

“Ben your father was in a car accident and he didn’t make it.

I sobbed just as much as my mother. Nathan was still sound asleep. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. How am I suppose to go on without my Dad? I was so mad. I was so angry inside. I sat up and hugged my mom for life. It was hard to believe that I would never see my father. My mom left the room to make us breakfast and I had to tell my brother. I woke him up and told him. He didn’t cry, he just looked at me.

“So Dad won’t ever come home?”

“No.”

“He was going to fix my bike. Ben who is going to fix it?”

I didn’t have an answer for him and was confused that he didn’t show any emotion. Our Dad isn’t here and all he could do is think about his bike. I didn’t get it. How can he not show any emotion?

It was a gloomy Sunday. My mom called everyone she knew to tell them. She was in tears all day on the phone. I walked around my house imagining my Dad not being here in the house anymore. No more playing football. No more car rides. No more wrestling. Something came over me as I walked around my house. I ran to my room and grabbed that notebook.