I am only home for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I moved away for a job and it’s been a journey since then. When I met my family my brother pointed something out that made him teary eyed. There were names of deceased family members on the tables. I saw my aunts name, my mothers, grandfathers, grandmothers, and my cousin. I looked around the room as tears fell from my eyes. My brother saw me and hugged me. Although we are very different in many aspects we are the same. We moved over to the corner of the room and told me how our mom would be so proud of me. In his own words he actually expressed how much he loved me and missed me. This is something he would do when he was drunk. He didn’t have an ounce of alcohol in him. Naturally I cried as he spoke. I saw my brother in a different light. A part of me moved away for a job and part of me moved away from my family. In my eyes, growing up and still today I feel misunderstood. I want to unravel all the feelings we all feel in my writing. I want to write from different perspectives. I told my brother the other day I have three published books. In my head I spend my time writing wanting to leave something behind, my legacy. Perhaps on the blog this is where I am understood. But my brother for once understood me. He could see parts of me that are broken. He could see why I write from other perspectives. It’s easier for me to write from other points of view because I have some pieces I don’t want to look at. He could clearly see I just didn’t move away for a job.
Defining Moments
Defining Moments #1
I will never forget the day I moved back home . I will never forget the sentence that broke my heart. “You will never set the world on fire.” The chip on my shoulder just became bigger. Perhaps he is just a realist. Perhaps he saw his son average. I’m not saying he didn’t know how to love and care. I’m not saying he was a bad father but I would NEVER tell that to my son.
Little boy the message here is that you can be what you want to be. You are going to make choices I probably won’t agree with at the moment but the belief in you won’t disappear. I want to do something that my father didn’t do, just understand you. Please don’t be afraid to open up. I don’t want to be a critical spirit like him and put your thoughts under a microscope. Your father is a writer at heart and doesn’t have support from those who I thought would support. I stand alone. You will never stand alone.