
Scarlet Hill

Love was just an insignificant occupant making me gag
Love was just a bad joke I heard in another language I couldn’t comprehend
Love was just a citizen that held me down and raped my soul with a jagged knife
Love was just a stench I couldn’t wash out
Love was just a word created by Hallmark
Love was just four letters thrown together to serve a ridiculous purpose
Love was just a shadow so I can feel myself
Love was just a bruise on my shin to prove I exist
Love was just a song written by a billion dollar jester
Love was just a death wish waiting in the wings
Love was just a plant I didn’t water
Love was just a black eye with covered up lies
Love was just a watercolor I can’t see
Love was just mascara running down my face
Love was just a cloud of obscurity
Love was just a gram and a kilo of voids
Love was just a room of emptiness
Love was just a shattered mirror I look at every day
Love was just a pile of poems that made sense one day
Love was a just a pile of poems that I threw away the next day
Love was just an adolescent that claimed to know it all
Love was just an adult with an addiction that didn’t know a damn thing
Love was just a bomb that exploded on planes, in buildings, and in schools
Love was just a clan, cult, gang, a war of losses
Love was just a book that millions don’t read
Love was just a doctrine of stolen beliefs
Love was just a pile of divorce papers
Love was just a trigger pulled by one finger as the other four were staring at him
Love was just an overused word
Love was just ten minutes of causal sex
Love was just an irrational scream
Love was just the sun not seeing the moon
Love was just a down payment for an item I haven’t touched
Love was just a puzzle piece that doesn’t seem to fit anywhere
Love me father for I have sinned
Love me for my teary eyed tragedies
Love me mother for I have misrepresented
Love me for my emerald skin
Drowning in my identity
Love me fireflies for I have wept in the dark
Love me for I have crippled my vitality
Love me acquaintances for my tainted tongue
Love me for my abandoned flames
Soaking in a lost curse
Love me companion for I have misplaced love
Love me for I have spoken to my villain
Love me obscurity for I have been misguided
Love me for I have crawled in my dismay
Drenched on my knees praying to god “Fix me”
Sweet little darling
Sipping tea from her cup
Deep thoughts on her rocking chair
Nose stuck in a Dickinson book
Style in her fingertips
Turning page after page
Wrapped up in forever
Coddling lukewarm memories
Counting grandchildren and lost ones
Guided by an inward candle
Unforgettable and refreshing
She blatantly ignored the gun shots in the forest of her mind
She stumbled across the hidden bridge squeezing a bottle of time
She carried a picture of temptations with her lips high and dry
She drank from the inkwell of resistance to justify her words
She dropped to her tattered knees shouting “Forgive me”
She fumbled for a candle to see her shadows in the dark
She carved out a statue to remind her of her past
She spoke to the flames of the king in a delicate language
She leaned on the shoulders that could carry her forever more
She stared into the mirror for hours recognizing her flaws
I drank rain from a malevolent cup
and I couldn’t touch the terror in the wind
I distinctly felt the extinction in the air
and the intruders inside me left fingerprints
I anticipated the rumblings, jitters, and
the despair to rest in my esophagus
I stood in the fog seven miles away from
the shadows and the vile from the hill
I swallowed ignorance with a blend of
dismay, concern and suspicion
I fell before the behemoth’s sins and
I stared at the tarnished wisdom
I inhaled the scent of darkness
and I could feel the breeze of agony
I witnessed my logic, quirks, and talking
Skeleton disappear into the clouds
I was consumed by crisis oriented faith,
misplaced psychology, and charades
I stared at the dementia with my lip
quivering and with the aftertaste of sorrow
I stood six feet apart from the quicksand
and the rattle swimming in the sea of chaos
I severed the gospel from my identity
and I muttered words of inadequacy
I stepped on the carousel of deception
and shrugged off human decency
I became one with the vile from the hill
and detested the color of my pupils
I was obsessed by the anxiety and the
venom in my stomach turned into stone
I was crushed by my weaknesses
and the stench of loneliness dispersed
I devoured the indecisions, complexity,
and the tears in my eyes evaporated
I despised the grave of my haunting past
and ignored the road to the sunrise
A part of me is mangled
A part of me is incarcerated
A part of me has no meaning
A part of me is ruptured
A part of me is poisonous
A part of me has fragments
A part of me is dismembered
A part of me is misrepresented
A part of me has a disease
A part of me is severed
A part of me is slivered
A part of me has lived in a smog
A part of me is a siren
A part of me is annilihated
A part of me has lost color
A part of me is ruptured
A part of me is an invisible soul
A part of me has died on Mangled Iron Lane
She’s dressed in compromise
with a splash of anaesthesia
Lost in the scars
She’s wreaking ruins
with a touch of benevolence
Tangled up in a mess
She’s covered up in scotch
with a hint of animalism
Disoriented in the haze
She’s cleansed in affection
with a pinch of pandemonium
Invisible to the
She’s laced in anarchy
with a shot of jangle and bedlam
Slipping in oblivion
She’s cauterizing affection
with roses in her palms
Scatterbrained colors
Trembling demographics
Stretched out fuzzy landscapes
Distorted mountains clench
Sounds desensitized and flutter
A mangled government howls
Ministers pleading with statues
Arguments swing from branch
to branch like a diabolical monkey
Sentiments sealed in a box
Hungover debates swallowing
OxyContin and sleeping pills
Insomniacs chatting with graffiti
between Sinister Lane and 5th Street
Cigarette smoke flies like a bird
and shadows dance with loneliness
Laughter turns stale like a cracker
Cynics and pessimists fall in love
Innocence is submerged in flames
A place of cracks and haze
Wanderers and drifters circle